BBC Sports Personality of the Year: Why I can't stand this tedious awards programme

And that’s the yearly snorefest that is the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year. I’m normally one for traditions, and I do think that passed-down habits should be respected as they can tell us a lot about who we are, but this is a television programme that should be put into the big cupboard of 1970s and 1980s retro and just left there.

Firstly, the award doesn’t matter. It’s not had any prestige for a couple of decades and even when awarded to big names, it makes no difference. Andy Murray, a winner in 2013, 2015 and 2016? I couldn’t care less - the man won Wimbledon and the Olympics and that is why he should be idolised (incidentally if you dislike Andy Murray you are humourless and wrong, and that is a Henman Hill I am prepared to die on).

Mo Farah took the title in 2017... again, nobody now knows or cares about that. They correctly think of Super Saturday at the 2012 Olympics, they think of countless thrilling 10,000m races over the years in which he sat on his opponents’ shoulders, bullied them into submission, pushed them and himself to the edge and then left them for dead with that exhilarating sprint finish. Ryan Giggs won in 2009 apparently. Whatever. In reality he won every sports fan’s heart when he destroyed an Arsenal midfield and defence single-handedly in the FA Cup semi in 1999.

And you know what’s even more tedious than the awards themselves? The annual confected argument about whether a winner should be judged on sporting prowess or on their personality. This has been mentioned and debated every year that I can remember, and I honestly couldn’t care less as it’s an argument without end. You may as well argue that cheese is better than chocolate and then hold the Cheese Chocolate of the Year awards. The whole back-slapping thing is daft, and also serves to remind us that so much sport is on pay-per-view these days, with terrestrial television scrabbling for the crumbs. Put this charade out of its misery and stop telling us to be excited. I’m more likely to hand out gongs to the favourite items in my shopping trolley than to watch this farrago of nonsense.

• If you want to watch it, BBC Sports Personality of the Year - even the acronym SPOTY is annoying - is on BBC1 on Tuesday, December 19. More fool you, you won't get thta time back.