BBC's Christmas TV line-up is so dull it looks like a repeat - Gavin and Stacey, Mrs Brown's Boys, EastEnders, Doctor Who

Well continue considering, because the BBC has just released its festive schedule and it certainly contains no fireside/walk in the park/24-hour garage moments. In fact, it’s so heartstoppingly dull it almost looks like the whole thing is a repeat. What’s on the pile? Well, stop me if you’ve heard this one before...

Mrs Brown’s Boys is back with both Christmas and New Year. So that’s essentially one thin joke spread over two occasions. Perhaps this is the year it will be funny. Then again, people were saying that in 2014 and it didn’t come to pass. I can’t have been the only one to raise an eyebrow when last month Mrs Brown herself, Brendan O’Carroll, had to apologise for “a clumsy attempt at a joke” - an apology that could have been made many times over the last decade.

What else have we got? A Doctor Who special. An EastEnders special. Christmas specials from the Call The Midwife, The Repair Shop, Casualty, Death In Paradise and Beyond Paradise, Strictly Come Dancing and Gladiators. Honestly, absolutely nothing that seeks to take you anywhere different, do anything different. Basically a standard Saturday night but whack Christmas in the title.

In fact, it’s the children’s programming that looks most interesting. Each annual adaptation of a Julia Donaldson-Axel Scheffler book has been a joy over the last 10 years, and Tiddler is this year’s offering. An endearing book, let’s hope it transitions to screen as well as the others have. And the return of Wallace and Gromit - given it has been 16 years since their last film - could be good. Vengeance Most Fowl will see evil penguin Feathers McGraw, last seen disguising himself as a chicken with a red glove on his head, released from prison, ready to terrorise the animated duo once more.

And yes, Gavin and Stacey returns for its final episode. You might find it heartwarming, and I’m glad if you do. But to these eyes, ears and brain, it’s just really annoying, and no number of ‘hilarious’ clips circulating on Twitter will make me change my mind.

Charlotte Moore, the BBC’s chief content officer, has said: “No one does Christmas quite like the BBC” - I’d argue that that is only true because the BBC is serving up the same old Christmas year after year, and no wonder it’s beginning to taste as bland as the fourth day of turkey sandwiches.

Familiarity breeds contempt, they say. I don’t know about that, but even at Christmas this is so familiar it’s enough to drive you to drink water.