Teacher says giving cranky kids digital pacifiers only makes matters worse

Music teacher and founder of Mini Mozart, Clare Shaw says, “Early childhood is a critical time for learning basic self-regulation skills that will help set children up for the future.”

The ex-presenter for BBC Young Musician of The Year and The Proms offers five tips for parents and carers on how to coach your child through distressing situations, help them to recognise their emotions and empower them to handle it.

Validate feelings

Whether they’re expressing joy, frustration or sadness, let them know that their feelings are perfectly normal and that it’s okay to feel what they are feeling.

Teach coping strategies

This could be as simple as taking deep breaths together, counting to ten, or using a favorite stuffed animal or blanket as a comfort object. Encourage your child to identify what helps them to feel better when they’re upset and empower them to use these strategies whenever they need them.

Model calmness

Take deep breaths, use gentle and reassuring language, and demonstrate patience and empathy when your child is upset. By showing them how to navigate their own emotions with grace and resilience, you’re providing them with invaluable tools for self-regulation.

Use music as a tool

Music is a really powerful tool for helping little ones with big emotions. Soothing melodies and gentle lullabies can calm frayed nerves, but sometimes what’s called for is something upbeat you can dance away your frustrations to. Encourage your child to express themselves through music by singing, dancing or playing simple instruments like shakers or xylophones. The rhythmic beats and melodic tunes can work wonders to sooth and uplift the soul.

Provide some routine and structure

Having a consistent routine will help give your little ones a sense of stability when they’re struggling with instability in their emotions. Incorporate music into these daily rituals to signal transition and create a sense of comfort and familiarity.