Does your dog secretly hate being hugged? Expert reveals if you pet simply tolerates your affection

Dog lovers everywhere might be shocked to hear that their beloved pet might not enjoy being hugged. Affectionate canine carers are being warned their best friend might actually dislike snuggles - and just tolerate them.

The warning comes after research carried out by dog behaviourist and dynamic dog practitioner at dog food company, Years, revealed hugging may not be as comforting for the dog as it feels for the owner. COAPE-certified behaviourist Jo Hinds said while many owners use hugs to show affection, dogs do not always understand close physical contact in the same way.

While some dogs may enjoy leaning into their owner or resting close by, others can find being held, squeezed or restricted stressful, especially if they cannot easily move away.

“Hugging is a very human way of showing love, but it is not a natural or comfortable interaction for dogs,” Jo said. “Some dogs learn to tolerate hugs because they trust their owner, but tolerance is not the same as enjoyment. If a dog goes still, turns their head away, repeatedly licks you, licks their lips or tries to move out of the interaction, they are giving important information.”

According to Jo, the issue with hugging is not affection itself, but restraint. A hug can place pressure around the dog’s body, limit movement and remove their ability to choose whether they stay in the interaction.

“Many dogs prefer affection that allows them choice,” she explained. “They may enjoy sitting beside you, leaning in, being stroked gently, or choosing to rest near you. A hug can feel different because the dog is being held in place. For a confident, relaxed dog, that may be fine. For a worried, sensitive, older, sore or overwhelmed dog, it can feel too much.”

She said children should be especially careful when hugging pets, as they might cuddle their beloved dog more tightly, increasing the animal’s discomfort and might miss subtle stress signals.

“Children often hug dogs because they love them. The intention is sweet, but dogs need space and choice,” Jo went on. “A dog who is uncomfortable may show several small warning signs before they growl, snap or move away. If those signs are missed, the situation can escalate. That is why children should be taught that dogs are not teddy bears. They are living animals with boundaries.”

Warning signs your dog may not like being hugged

• Turning their head away
• Lip licking
• Yawning
• Showing the whites of the eyes
• Going still or stiff
• Ears moving back
• Tail tucked or held low
• Trying to move away
• Paw lifting
• Panting when not hot
• Avoiding eye contact
• Growling
• Snapping if ignored

Jo added: “A still dog is not always a calm dog. Freezing can be a major sign that a dog is uncomfortable. Many people assume a dog is fine because they have not growled or snapped, but dogs often show much earlier signs first.”

If a dog growls while being hugged, Jo urged owners not to punish them, instead taking it as a warning and to calmly stop the interaction and give the dog space. “If a dog is punished for growling, they may stop giving that warning in future,” she said. “That can make interactions less safe because the dog has fewer ways to say they are struggling.”

Ways to show your dog affection

• Letting the dog come to you
• Invite interaction rather than forcing it
• Stroking gently on areas they enjoy
• Sitting near them without holding them
• Using consent checks
• Stroke with one hand
• Playing or training together
• Giving them a safe space

To limit any potential distress for dog or owner, Jo urged pet lovers to implement a three-second rule when dealing with their dogs: Stroke the dog gently for around three seconds, then pause and see what they do. If the dog leans in, nudges for more or stays relaxed, they may be happy to continue. If they move away, turn their head, lick their lips or disengage, stop.

She added: “This is a simple way to give dogs choice. Affection should be a conversation, not something we do to them regardless of how they feel.”

Dog advice for families

• Do not let children hug dogs tightly
• Never let children climb on dogs
• Watch for subtle stress signs like lip licking, turning away and freezing
• Do not disturb sleeping dogs
• Let the dog move away
• Supervise children and dogs together
• Praise calm, respectful interaction

“My advice is simple: stop assuming your dog wants to be hugged, and start noticing how they ask for affection instead,” Jo added. “Most dogs will show you what they enjoy when we give them the chance.”