Sitting on opposite sides of the sofa may be a bad sign for your relationship, experts warn

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Many couples love to spend time together on the sofa at the end of a hard day, but how you position yourselves may reveal a lot about your relationship.

Tristan Lynch, CEO of Roseland Furniture, has spoken with three relationship experts to shed some light on the common ways couples sit together and what it could signal about the state of their relationship.

Sitting on different sofas

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While sharing your own space on different sofas may not exactly be a bad sign for your relationship, how often you assume this position could be a significant red flag. Charlotte Ball, Founder of Bond The Agency, a professional matchmaking service, highlights the common practice of long-term spouses sitting in different rooms to enjoy different TV shows. Despite this not being a sign of any relationship woes, Charlotte warns that “if this is happening every single night and you are never sitting together on the same sofa or spending time relaxing together, then it could be a sign that you have started to lead separate lives”.

Legs on a partner's lap

For some couples, having your legs or head resting on your partner's lap is the perfect way to unwind after a hard day's work. Leading international relationship and dating expert Sami Wunder is a fan of this seating position and says it indicates closeness between two people.

"I find with my clients that when one partner rests their legs on the other's lap, it often signifies comfort and a sense of security. This position indicates a level of intimacy and trust, showing that one partner feels comfortable enough to rest on the other. It also suggests a playful and affectionate dynamic."

Side-by-side (not touching)

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Lounging on the sofa side-by-side is common for those in a comfortable, long-term relationship. However, the specifics of your relationship may determine whether this dynamic is healthy. Founder of The Bond Agency, Charlotte Ball, has emphasised the importance of small acts of service like asking whether they want a cup of tea when you get up from the sofa, rather than simply analysing whether they are touching or not. This could be a sign of a happy and content couple.

She added: "If, however, this circumstance is happening with a couple who are newly together (and should be in the first flushes of romance and passion), then it could indicate that all is not well, and this is not a long-term prospect."

Holding hands

Holding hands on the sofa is often a sign of a couple in the early throes of a romance. It is an excellent indicator of your level of contentment. Award-winning sex and relationship coach Gemma Nice reveals that this shows you are very happy communicators and is an excellent display of your affection for one another.

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"Touching is an incredible way to release happiness, contentment and love hormones, keeping you in the parasympathetic nervous system, your ‘rest and digest’ state, rather than in the sympathetic nervous system, your ‘fight or flight’ response," she added.

Opposite sides of the sofa

Are you more inclined to sit on the opposite side of the sofa than your partner? Well, relationship experts suggest this could be a bad sign for your relationship. Sex and relationship coach Gemma Nice warns that this position could show that a couple “have grown apart and are probably leading separate lives”. This could also indicate that arguments are becoming increasingly frequent within the relationship. While sitting on opposite sides can reveal much about a pair, closed-off body language, like facing away from your partner and closed arms or legs, may be an even greater indication of conflict.

Cuddling

For all the couples cosying up on the sofa with a cuddle, your relationship is one of real connection, according to experts. Dating and relationship expert Sami Wunder believes cuddling indicates physical closeness and emotional intimacy. She added: “It demonstrates affection, a strong bond, and comfort in each other's presence. This often points to a healthy, loving relationship.”

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Importance of physical intimacy at home and how to improve it

Physical intimacy is something many couples, particularly long-term partners, may take for granted. Relationship coach Sami Wunder highlights on the importance of physical affection beyond kissing, citing that “in a home setting, where couples spend a significant amount of their time together, maintaining physical intimacy helps reinforce their relationship and keeps the bond strong”. She also highlighted five ways to enhance intimacy in your daily life: regular touch, quality time, open communication, surprise gestures, and shared hobbies.

A cosy sofa can greatly enhance intimacy

For many couples, creating a cosy sofa environment on your sofa is paramount in making your living area feel warm and homely. But experts have also advised that improving the cosiness of your sofa can also have a positive impact on the intimacy you have with your partner. Coach Sami Wunder has seen first-hand that “a comfortable and inviting space encourages couples to spend more time together on the sofa, fostering closeness”, even putting you in a better position to exchange intimate gestures like hand-holding or cuddling.

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Sex and relationship coach Gemma Nice also emphasised the importance of a cosy sofa, saying: “Conversations can last longer and are more meaningful due to the comfortableness of the people sitting on them. They promote a sense of peace and comfort to allow the couple to stay relaxed. If it’s a little cold outside, it's nice to wrap up in a warm blanket together and be intimate with each other. It provides a nice, relaxed and calm environment.”

The way couples sit together can reveal a lot about their relationship dynamics, providing insight into the level of connection, conflict, and comfort. By fostering a cosy environment on the sofa, couples create better spaces to enhance physical intimacy and strengthen their relationships.

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