Three quarters of singles see mental health as a dating 'green flag'

The study of 1,000 singles who are currently dating, shows a clear change in our courting habits, as six in 10 (61%) say they’ve previously felt too ashamed to broach the topic on a first date, while 32% have avoided the conversation because of a perceived weakness surrounding it.

In fact, 68% admit they’d NEVER talk about mental health on a first date just a few years ago, in fear of judgement or rejection.

But signalling a shift in dating culture, the study by online dating app, Match, found that 88% now feel comfortable embracing all manner of conversations on a first date.

Discussing exes (15%), salaries (9%), political views (9%) and even desires for marriage (9%) are all big talking points no longer considered taboo topics.

What’s more, 30% feel showing vulnerability is key to building authentic relationships, while 28% would rather have meaningful discussions over small talk when meeting someone for the first time.

And as Blue Monday - dubbed the ‘most depressing day of the year’ - looms, the study reveals that nearly half (43%) of singles experience heightened anxiety in January, with 17% worried about starting 2025 without a significant other.

New year anxiety is also encouraging singles back online, with 31% turning to dating apps to meet new people, while 28% are using them to lock in more dates in a bid to combat feelings of anxiety and kickstart their 2025 love life.

When it comes to having conversations about mental health, 86% believe honest chats about it can build a strong foundation for a relationship. Of these, 41% think it builds trust between daters, while 37% find it ensures honesty from the outset. And 32% feel it can even strengthen connections in the long run.

Four in 10 (42%) who have broached the subject in the early stages of dating have spoken candidly about their personal experiences, with 38% opening up about the challenges they’ve faced.

While 42% don’t even wait for the first date to bring up mental health - choosing to initiate conversations before meeting a potential partner IRL, during the chatting stage after matching.

Three in four (74%) think generally having open and honest conversations about mental health is positive for their own, with 61% believing that finding the right tools has helped them better manage their emotional wellbeing.

Hayley Quinn, Dating and Relationships expert for Match, says: “With our study revealing that three quarters of singles view mental health as a dating green flag, the days of feeling like you need to put on a pitch perfect performance for a successful date are long gone. Singles want to start something real, and in order to do so, they are approaching dating with more candour than ever before.

“By being open about their mental health and relationship expectations, singles are empowering themselves to build meaningful partnerships, where they can meet each other's needs, and create happy, stable relationships.”

While 59% of daters want to speak openly about mental health, 34% don’t feel they have the tools to help them do so.

To help singletons navigate mental health in dating, Match has teamed up with Calm, the mental health company with the #1 app to help you sleep more, stress less and live mindfully.

Existing or new Match users in the UK, who have never tried Calm premium in the past, can claim 50% off Calm premium memberships to help them care for their mental health in the quest for love.

Hayley Quinn shares her top tips on how to approach the subject of mental health whilst dating:

1. Start by sharing - You have the ability to set the emotional tone by how open you’re prepared to be on a date. People will often feel much more comfortable sharing how they feel when you take the first step by being candid yourself. A recent study from Match found that 30% of singles feel that showing vulnerability is key to building authentic relationships - and the good news is that vulnerability can help to break the ice on a date! So, instead of spending too long on small talk, chat about what’s really on your mind that day in order to build an emotional connection. This should also make dates feel more rewarding for you, as you ditch any performance, and talk authentically about who you are instead. Phrases like, “If it’s okay, I’d love to share with you…” can help kickstart the conversation.
2. Gauge their comfort level - Dates should be a balance of emotionally intimate moments, alongside fun and laughter. When you take a step towards being more emotionally intimate, notice your date’s reaction: Do they quickly change the topic, or do they seem more relaxed now that you’ve broken the ice by being more vulnerable? If they seem uncertain, this doesn’t mean you’re ultimately incompatible; they may just need longer to open up to you. If they’re not ready to go there yet, take a step back into more neutral conversational territory. Having the emotional awareness to adapt to how your date is feeling is an attractive quality.
3. Be clear about what you need - No one comes with a user manual, and it can be hard to assess what your date wants and needs. Instead of making assumptions, open communication works brilliantly to let each other know what your wants and needs are. For example, if you feel like you can’t keep up with their level of messaging, and you notice you’re starting to pull away; instead of sending this mixed signal, simply let the other person know that you’re not that much of a messenger, or that you’ll get back to them at the end of the day. Helping your date to understand you will help to dodge misunderstandings and build trust. Your date may, or may not, be able to meet your needs, but by being honest about what you want, you give yourself the power to transform your relationship with them into something deeper.