There are few matches in world football in which the expectation is to win by five or six goals to nil. England vs San Marino is one of those matches.
The Three Lions have played the European minnows seven times in their history, scoring 42 times and conceding just once.
Described by BBC Sport as “the world’s worst national team”, the mountainous microstate currently sit 210th in the FIFA World Rankings. Only the Caribbean island of Anguilla are beneath them, and a brief glance at San Marino’s historical record fully justifies their paltry position, with a grand total of one win from their 185 contested international fixtures to date. (They beat Liechtenstein 1-0 in a friendly back in 2004, in case you were wondering).
Unsurprisingly then, the bookies aren’t giving them much of a chance when England come to town on Monday evening, with current odds pricing a San Marino upset at a lofty 66/1.
In the interest of contextualising that figure, and because the international break may or may not have us all twiddling our thumbs a little on a Saturday afternoon, we’ve taken a look at nine outlandish events that bookmakers are deeming just as – or even more – likely than a Three Lions defeat next week.
Click and scroll through the pages below to check out the list…

. LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 12: Harry Kane of England shakes hands with Gareth Southgate, Head Coach of England as he is substituted during the 2022 FIFA World Cup Qualifier match between England and Albania at Wembley Stadium on November 12, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images)
Harry Kane of England shakes hands with Gareth Southgate. (Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images) Photo: Clive Rose

1. Manchester United or Arsenal to win the Premier League - 66/1
We'll start with one that would have had considerably shorter odds twenty years ago. With Liverpool, Manchester City, and Chelsea looking like the real deal these days, the bookies don't fancy either the Red Devils or the Gunners for a title charge this season. (Photo by Paul Ellis - Pool/Getty Images) Photo: Pool

2. Pep Guardiola to become Manchester United's next manager - 66/1
Speaking of United, a San Marino win is as likely as Pep ditching bitter rivals Manchester City for a stint at Old Trafford. Just imagine... (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images) Photo: Clive Brunskill

3. Newcastle United to sign Lionel Messi in January - 33/1
Swapping the bright lights of the Seine for a relegation battle up on the Tyne? Apparently, it's twice as likely as San Marino beating England. (Photo by Ernesto Ryan/Getty Images) Photo: Ernesto Ryan

4. Shakin' Stevens landing the Christmas Number One - 40/1
It'd be Christmas come early in San Marino if they managed to get the better of Southgate's men on Monday, and yet it would still be the second most embarrassing thing to happen to England this festive period if we somehow allowed Stevens' Merry Christmas Everyone to overcome the odds and snatch a yuletide number one. (Photo by Jim Dyson/Getty Images) Photo: Jim Dyson