Riding the Storm: Speaking out against misogyny and healing from childhood trauma

Growing up in the shadow of a misogynistic father was a storm I barely survived. A man who measured his worth by how much control he could exert over his sons and how much he could demean the women around him, my father ruled with an iron fist. Power, in his eyes, was something you took—never something you shared. And so, as a child, I learned to navigate a world where love came with conditions, masculinity was defined by domination, and silence was the price of survival.

For years, I carried the weight of those lessons, burying my pain deep beneath a hardened exterior. But as I grew, I began to see the cracks in the foundation of my father’s ideology. His brand of manhood wasn’t strength—it was fear wrapped in cruelty. It wasn’t leadership—it was insecurity masked as dominance. And I wasn’t alone in this realisation.

In my book, Riding the Storm, I open up about the long road to unlearning these toxic beliefs and reclaiming my voice. It’s a journey that resonates deeply with many men who are finally coming forward to speak out against the misogyny they were raised in and, in many cases, forced to uphold.

This shift is happening in real-time.

The Netflix show Adolescence captures this movement, showing young men wrestling with the expectations society places on them—expectations rooted in outdated, harmful ideas of what it means to be a man.

The conversations happening now are long overdue.

More men are recognising that misogyny doesn’t just harm women—it dehumanises us all, stripping us of the ability to connect, to feel, to be fully ourselves.

But calling out misogyny is just the first step. The real work lies in dismantling it, both in ourselves and in the world around us. That means having the tough conversations, acknowledging where we’ve fallen short, and creating spaces where boys and men can redefine masculinity in a way that is rooted in respect, vulnerability, and genuine strength.

For survivors, healing starts with speaking our truth. We must name the wounds inflicted upon us, no matter how deep or painful. But it doesn’t end there. We need tools to thrive—to rebuild our sense of self, to cultivate relationships built on mutual respect, and to contribute to a world where power is not something taken, but something shared.

So, to the men reading this who have endured the storm: You are not alone. Your story matters.

And together, we can be the generation that finally breaks the cycle.

Ryan Harland is a mental health advocate, author, and speaker whose powerful memoir, "Riding the Storm," chronicles his journey from trauma to triumph. Through his work, Harland aims to break the silence around mental health, trauma, and abuse, empowering others to reclaim their lives and find their own path to healing.