Will we lose our manners to AI? The rising cost of courtesy in a robotic world
A simple “please” or “thank you” might seem harmless, even polite. But new revelations suggest that our good manners, when directed at artificial intelligence like ChatGPT, may come with an unexpected cost: both financially and socially.
Since the launch of ChatGPT in late 2022, usage of generative AI has exploded. In just the past month, global searches for “ChatGPT” have surged by 30%, reaching an all-time high of 519 million monthly searches , partly spurred by its latest image-generating capabilities and, more curiously, growing concerns around the cost of being polite. Searches for “please ChatGPT” alone are up 57%, highlighting users’ awareness of the issue.
Beyond the dollars and data, Preply, an online language learning platform, is wary of a quieter shift which may be occurring: the way we talk to machines may be affecting how we talk to each other.
“Politeness isn’t a bug, it’s a feature of being human”
Anna Pyshna, spokesperson for Preply, warns that this cost could results in a shift in tone that may creep beyond the screen and into real life:
“We teach children to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ because it’s not just polite, it’s human. If we begin removing these social norms from our digital habits, especially in daily interactions with AI, we risk losing them altogether. The danger is that our language becomes more robotic, more transactional, and less sincere.”
Indeed, a recent study shows that 69% of Gen Z users say “please” and “thank you” when speaking to ChatGPT.
Anna continues: “While encouraging on the surface, this may soon change. As users become more aware that politeness carries an environmental and financial cost, and AI doesn't "feel" appreciation anyway, the emotional layer of language may start to erode.”
The AI-etiquette shift: What it means for future generations
According to another recent study, around 30% of users do not use courteous language when interacting with AI systems. This may just well rise.
This trend is particularly concerning for younger generations who are growing up learning, communicating, and socialising online. If their daily interactions, especially with chatbots, are driven by speed, convenience, and stripped-down commands, these habits may transfer into real-world interactions.
Anna details: “If your default is to type ‘do this’ instead of ‘can you help with this, please?’ it becomes second nature. Over time, that bleeds into how we communicate at work, with friends, or even with strangers. We’re not just changing how we talk to machines, we’re changing how we talk, full stop.”
“If you think of it this way, Gen Z and Gen Alpha slang originally started online but it’s now part of everyday speech. People actually say things like ‘LOL’ or ‘I can’t even’ out loud. That’s a clear example of how our digital communication habits don’t just stay online, they spill over into real life. So if we get used to speaking in blunt, robotic commands with AI, that tone could easily creep into how we talk to each other too.”
Language learning: Why the human touch matters
On a language education front, the risk becomes even more pronounced. AI tutors can help with vocabulary and grammar, but they often lack the nuance and cultural context that make communication feel genuine, as Anna explains:
“Learning from a real-life tutor ensures learners pick up authentic, polite, and culturally appropriate expressions. AI can’t replicate a raised eyebrow, a shared laugh, or a gentle correction, all things that make language human and meaningful. Without these emotional cues and social feedback, learners may develop fluency in content, but not in connection.”
The future of communication: Where do we go from here?
Preply notes that as AI becomes more integrated into our lives, the way we communicate with it and through it will shape our cultural norms.
Anna concludes: “While there may be a temptation to cut the fluff and go full command-mode with bots, doing so may also strip away the very elements that make us feel human.
The question we must now ask isn't just ‘how should we talk to AI?’, but rather, ‘how do we want to talk to each other?’
We don’t need to overuse politeness with AI, but we do need to protect how we speak to one another and that starts with staying conscious of the habits we form online.”