Age gap dating: Why it's more common than ever, according to a relationship expert, as Cruz Beckham joins trend

Age gap relationships are being debated once again as Cruz Beckham, aged 19, is said to be in a relationship with a woman who is almost ten years his senior.

Unions where couples have substantial age differences are nothing new, yet they still seem to cause controversy. Once it became public knowledge that Beckham’s beau, Brazilian singer Jackie Apostel, is 28 it seemed to be all anyone could talk about. Beckham will turn 20 in February 2025 while his girlfriend will mark her 30th just eight months later.

Whether people view the age difference between the pair positively or negatively one thing is for sure, the subject is continually a hot topic of debate. But is this kind of relationship really that unusual today, or are we just stuck in outmoded ways of thinking? And could Beckham and Apostel’s relationship work?

They are the questions Alex Mellor-Brook, Co-founder at elite dating agency Select Personal Introductions, Internationally Certified Matchmaker, Dating Expert and Science-Based Relationship Coach has answered for NationalWorld this week.

This is part of a series of features where Mellor-Brook will discuss love and relationships. If you have any questions you’d like him to answer in future weeks, please email [email protected].

Age gap love: Is it a trend?

In many societies throughout history, it was common for older men to marry younger women, often due to traditional roles or social expectations. However, today’s relationships are more diverse, according to Mellor-Brook, with many challenging traditional norms, including age and gender roles. Now, older women are dating younger men too.

Online dating, social media, and changing social attitudes have helped break down the barriers, allowing relationships to be viewed more through the lens of personal fulfilment, emotional connection, and individual choice rather than societal expectations. Today, singles are less focused on meeting traditional criteria like age and more interested in finding someone who brings happiness and enriches their lives.

Love is more than just a number

Relationships with an age gap can face unique challenges, but these issues often arise from factors beyond the age difference, states Mellor-Brook. Instead, they stem from differences in life stages, priorities, or external pressures. Success in any relationship depends on understanding, respect, and open communication.

Mellor-Brook added: “The controversial preoccupation with these relationships may speak more about our fear of shifting norms than the relationships themselves. Love is about connection, not numbers. Living in a world that increasingly embraces diversity, now is a great time to finally discard those outdated notions and celebrate relationships for what truly does matter: compatibility, shared values, and the ability to support each other’s unique journeys.”

Changing attitudes

Fortunately, attitudes are changing, according to Mellor-Brook especially among younger people who look primarily for a compatible connection without putting much emphasis on age. Social media can also help normalise age gap relationships, to a point, by showing diverse and unique types of couples that exist, breaking stereotypical thoughts.

Celebrities like Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas, or George and Amal Clooney repeatedly prove that love doesn't understand age rules. Cruz Beckham's romance is just another manifestation of two people who decided to be together simply because it works for them, Mellor-Brook belives.

Mate value is the key

Mate value is the key to understanding age gap relationships, says Mellor-Brook. This is all about the qualities that make partners desirable to one another, such as emotional maturity, stability, and attractiveness. Where an older partner might contribute life experience and stability, a younger partner often brings spontaneity and energy into the relationship. This leads to an enriching relationship when both feel valued for the unique qualities each possesses.

Cruz Beckham and Jackie Apostel: will it work?

Society is built upon double standards: it is far more acceptable when an older man is in a relationship with a younger woman, but not for a woman when she is older. Beckham’s relationship with Apostel points out how prejudices are not over.

Age gap relationships often draw scepticism, with many assuming that an older partner must be controlling or that the younger partner lacks maturity. These outdated beliefs miss the point. True compatibility isn't defined by age, states Mellor-Brook, it's about the connection, shared values, and mutual respect between partners.

At 19, Beckham is trying to figure out life, says Mellor-Brook. His brain’s prefrontal cortex, a crucial part of decision-making and emotional regulation, is not expected to reach maturity until his mid-twenties. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he is incapable of making meaningful romantic choices, but it does highlight a natural difference in life stages and maturity between himself and his partner.

Apostel, meanwhile, might already have established her career, goals, and sense of identity - areas that Cruz is still likely exploring, he believes. The key is understanding these differences and respecting the need for growth; both individually and as a couple.