Joe Lycett: what did comedian’s Sue Gray report Twitter ‘leak’ say -and why did it cause panic in Government?

A parody of the long-awaited Sue Gray report posted by comedian and trickster Joe Lycett sparked “panic” within Government, it has been claimed.

Lycett’s spoof document claimed Downing Street parties were organised through a WhatsApp group called “Down It Street”, and that ministers routinely played games including “Pass the A***hole”.

Of course, the whole thing was a humorous mock-up from the comedian, but that didn’t stop it from being treated as “an actual serious leak from Sue Gray's report.”

Here is everything you need to know about it.

What did Joe Lycett’s ‘report’ say?

Posting to Twitter, the comedian shared what appeared to be an extract from the upcoming Sue Gray report, listing the civil servant’s “main findings”.

Of course, it was all a satirical send-up, which left many social media users with smiles on their faces.

“The saddest/funniest part of this was that up until point six, I hadn’t realised this as a joke,” one tweet read, while another user said it took them “way too long to realise this was a p***take.”

The comedian’s ‘leaked’ Sue Gray report in full:

A summary of my main findings:

1. A culture of Covid-19 regulation rule breaking at Number 10 Downing street.

2. Games were played which were known as “Slow Dance' and 'Pass the A***hole'.

3. A number of WhatsApp groups were established to organise gatherings, with titles including “Definitely A Meeting” and “Down It Street”.

4. At one party, [redacted] a senior minister insisted all cabinet ministers get onto a table and perform Pure & Simple by Hear’Say.

5. Before one of the gatherings [redacted] who worked closely with the PM insisted everyone be tested and was subsequently referred to as 'T***eral Flow' by advisors.

6. A video of the PM's wife at one party confirms her attendance in which she is heard saying, “it could be as few as four and as many as sixty kids” lol.

7. One advisor insisted this report makes clear “it is categorically not a breach of the rules to be part of a human centipede if said centipede was formed prior to lockdown.”

Please forward any queries to my email [email protected]

What happened in Government?

In a follow-up post, Lycett claimed a “verified” source revealed his post had caught ministers off guard, and was being treated as “an actual leak”, causing “panic” within the Government.

“Mummy catfished the government,” said Lycett, sharing the exchange between him and a fan on Instagram. “This is an actual series of messages I have received from someone who works for a cabinet minister.”

The messages began: “I work in Parliament for the Conservatives and I think you need to know your tweet this morning was read as an actual serious leak from Sue Gray’s report.

“You had MP staff literally running around panicking from what it said. Panic dialling MPs like, ‘we need to discuss this right now.’

“Absolutely legendary work, well done.”

When will the real Sue Gray report be released?

Boris Johnson continues to wait for the findings of the official inquiry into alleged lockdown-busting parties in No 10 and Whitehall, with the Prime Minister insisting he was not responsible for any delay to the report.

The highly anticipated document from senior civil servant Sue Gray could be pivotal for the Prime Minister’s future but it has yet to be submitted to No 10, with legal and human resources officials scrutinising it before it can be sent to Downing Street for publication.

The announcement of a Scotland Yard investigation into some of the alleged parties – based in part on the evidence uncovered in the Gray inquiry – has complicated the process, with police and officials wrangling over anything which could prejudice a criminal case.

The Commons adjourned for the day on Thursday (27 January) with no sign of either the report or a statement from Johnson.

The Prime Minister has committed to making a statement to MPs once he has received the report and this remains a possibility on Friday, even though no Government business is scheduled in the Chamber.

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