Move over Hogmanay and cheese rolling - Flying Ant Day and pub queues should be in the UK's Inventory Of Living Heritage

So far the suggestions have been - while sensible - rather staid and worthy for the Inventory Of Living Heritage in the UK. By all means, let’s have Hogmanay, cheese rolling and the Notting Hill Carnival chalked up - but as the list goes out to the public to suggest things, let’s see some ideas that are really part of our day-to-day lives rather than hundreds of people saying “The solstices at Stonehenge”.

Move over tweed-weaving and Welsh love spoon carving, here’s a better picture of how we live now.

Flying Ant Day

Simultaneously recognised - and enjoyed - by everyone in the land, and yet unrecognised by the authorities, it’s time to accord Flying Ant Day the respect it deserves. If you’ve never had a text from a friend in another part of the country alerting you to the rise of the winged minibeasts, you’ve not lived.

It remains a magical event - how do they all know to come out at once? In a run of hot weather, how do they all choose the same day? - and a non-religious midsummer marker. If it were up to me I’d have it as a bank holiday but I appreciate that the logistics of that might be hard to introduce. At the very least it should be the equivalent of an officially sanctioned duvet day.

Queuing

Yes, a hoary old chestnut but in particular queuing in pubs. The queue that eschews a line of people, instead working on trust and mutual respect to be given your rightful turn to be served. It’s how society should function - free will leading to a natural order of things. And consequently, anyone who knowingly pushes in or jumps the queue deserves only the highest scorn.

Incidentally, also on the pub theme, many people say it’s churlish but I have a sneaky like of cheering if you hear a glass smashing. Nothing too loud, nothing too silly, and not celebrating misfortune but just one of those universally recognised things that have taken hold naturally. It’s reassuring.

World Book Day

Not the event itself, that’s doing just fine, cursed be it. But - and this is one for the parents - the traditional stress, fear and annoyance of having to rustle up a costume for a normal school day, which you were told about so long ago that you’ve forgotten. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I fully intend to write a children’s book called The Girl Who Wore School Uniform When Others Didn’t and I expect to be elected Prime Minister by grateful parents (not to mention become a millionaire as everyone will need a copy in their house to point to on that fateful March Thursday every year).

Talking about the weather

Another obvious one but being fascinated by the weather is fascinating in itself. I suppose it’s because, compared to other areas of the planet, our weather is so changeable. But France is hardly a million miles away and the French have no reputation for bringing up “le temps” at all times. Instead the French have a reputation for being stylish and being passionate lovers. Perhaps these facts are not unconnected.

Talking about roads

Pretty much a male one this, if we’re honest, but talking about roads as if they are your mates “Yep, A31 and A35 for me, not the A303, I don’t like it” is definitely a British thing (you get extra British points if you can determine the rough route from those three roads alone). For a certain strand of people, the merely mention of a road is enough to set them off on alternative routes, like a meat satnav but they are to be cherished and this is to be welcomed - it’s a small push back against Google Maps and all the automation AI it will soon contain.

So, by all means let’s see people nominate putting the kettle on, May Day parades, roast dinners and so on, but wouldn’t it be great to see a picture of how we live now. Our country, with all its faults, failings and eccentricities laid bare.