Greggs: I feel I am the only person who does not like the bakery chain

Gregg Wallace always leaves a metaphorical nasty taste in the mouth, and for me so does the well-known bakery chain (after which I like to think he was named). It’s not a hatred of the food itself - I like a sausage roll as much as the next person - which is OK but unremarkable, but for the blandness it brings to everywhere.

I don’t want to sound like a Little Englander, harking back like John Major to near-mythical ‘county cricket grounds, warm beer, invincible green suburbs and dog lovers’ but don’t we deserve a bit better than this? I refuse to believe that anyone who isn’t either starving or hungover actually thinks that Greggs' wares are great food. It’s serviceable, it’s convenient and it’s cheap, but it’s not got much in the way of taste. The best you can say about the famed vegan sausage roll is that it tastes quite like the normal sausage roll, but to my mind that’s damning with faint praise.

And yet, as we bemoan the state of our high streets while simultaneously shopping at Amazon, and wish for characterful cafes while sipping on a Costa, we see another example of us voting for bland, identikit high streets by choosing to opt for Greggs over a traditional baker. There are indeed old-fashioned bakeries out there. I would guarantee to you that their wares will be better and more satisfying than a Greggs, but I would absolutely also accept that it will probably cost you 50p or so more. 

But you pays your money and you makes your choices. If I wasn’t at home for lunch I’d rather chuck some extra silver at a local business and try to preserve, in a small way, a degree of individuality, rather than be surrounded by Poundland, the hellish golden arches and KFC outlets alongside charity shop and estate agents. I take my hat off to Greggs’ business model, efficiency and economy - and from a business point of view the fact they are colonising every area of Britain is impressive - but please, perform an act of revolution and strike back against both the homogenisation of life and mediocre sausage rolls.