My New Smart Home: Moving house reminded me why printers are the worst appliances
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I planned to fill my new home with clever technology, but the administrative misery of moving meant one deeply unloved appliance was among the first things I needed.
When I was imagining moving in to my new house, I had plans to get a big selection of my favourite tech unboxed and set up. Things like a smart TV, my tablet, a robot vacuum, and so on. But the reality has been a bit different.
Because of the archaic way some companies and organisations operate, the administrative process of moving to a new address has meant pen and paper have been among the first things I've needed. Those, and a printer.
I have a deep-seated loathing of printers. When they work, they tend to work badly. But, as it happens, they rarely work at all.
Before we moved house, I upgraded to a laser printer, and it's far from faultless, but it's one of the best things I've done. Because inkjet printers are quite possibly the worst appliances ever invented.
The biggest problem I have with them is that they don't like to be left standing for too long, or the cartridges just dry up. I have looked online to see if there's a solution to this and, I kid you not, the expert advice is to use it more often.
I did read one tip that suggested taking the cartridges out of the machine, wrapping them in cling film, and putting them in the fridge. Whose life is ever empty enough to do that though, honestly?
“What shall we do with our precious spare time today, dear? Go for a walk in the countryside? Do a spot of gardening? Visit a stately home, perhaps? No, I'll tell you what, let's refrigerate the printer cartridges again.”
Seriously, if the same thing happened with a toaster you'd be marching back to Curry's with your angry face on very swiftly if the helpline told you the reason it was now spitting out half-cooked bread is because you went off marmalade for a few months and kept it in a cupboard.
How many other electrical appliances in our home can we spend hundreds of pounds on, only for them to fail because we forget to use them every week? In the world of desktop printing, this bizarre vulnerability seems to just be the accepted norm.
If I was to avoid cryogenically freezing the cartridges and went along with the idea of printing a random page every few weeks, it would cost me money. I used to pay a fee per printed sheet.
Switching to a laser printer has solved this issue, but it's an expensive investment, and the day will come soon when I have to buy some new toner cartridges. I had a look the other day, and these will set me back almost as much as the printer itself did.
And this is in a day and age when there is no reason not to go completely paperless. Printing, signing, and then scanning documents feels like slipping back to the era of the black and white television set, when we're in a society that can open documents from our smartphone, sign them electronically, and send them back in an instant.
Oh, how I long for the day when I no longer need a printer of any sort. But I can’t see it coming any time soon.
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