Somebody is always watching: Stay true to yourself and use these tips to cope with life's Big Brother moments

 Well, if you don’t give a jot what other people think or say about you, you should still consider how your behaviour, the image you put across and the words that come out of your mouth might form an opinion that might matter.

Such as when you: 

• Want to get a job, or a promotion at work.
• Are in a relationship, or are looking for a partner.
• Are in a position of influence at work, such as a supervisor, manager, or leader.
• Are ambitious.

 Of course, you have a unique personality that you should hold onto, and let’s be honest, it’s those individuals in the Big Brother house who are keeping us entertained with theirs. Viewers are voting to keep them in.

 But even staying true to who you are comes with caution. Relationships can be damaged, friends lost, and jobs denied. 

 My advice? Be yourself, but pay attention to the following:  

You can act, but not forever

 Everyone who enters the Big Brother house is sweetness and light at first, and they put on their best behaviour in order to make a good impression (and make friends). They also know we’re watching. The same is true in life, with a new job, meeting new people, or to try and come across as a person who is likeable and/or worth being around. But no one can keep up the act forever, because after a few days we all revert to being our normal self and that could result in your frustrations, bad habits and low tolerance to certain people coming out big time. Rather than lose sight of who you are, think about what you want to say before you say it and how your behaviour impacts on others. There are consequences.

 Show an interest 

Disagreements, spats, and fallouts often happen when we don’t take the time to fully understand the people we are talking to or working with. It means we have to listen more, talk less, and try to understand their point of view. You could still disagree ,and certain people still might not be your cup of tea, but showing genuine interest in others is a dying characteristic – we’re too busy to care. And yet, those who do are respected and remembered for a very long time. Pause before you jump in, be the one who does take the time. You’d want others to that for you, wouldn’t you?

Other people are not like you 

I’m all for having like-minded friends and colleagues, you can find plenty of stuff that you have in common, and the relationships are, generally, not hard work. But there’s a lot to be said for having good relationships and to be able to connect with people who are very different to you. Unfortunately, we do judge a book by its cover, and whilst that’s life – we could be the ones losing out. No one knows what you’ve been through in life, or what you have to deal with, or what you’re thinking about, so sometimes, those judgements we make turn out to be very wrong. Look for common ground but also appreciate those differences. Your life experience becomes richer for it, and you become more open minded. That has to be a ‘win’.  

If you’re wrong, admit it

When tempers flare in the Big Brother house, all hell breaks loose. Someone’s right and someone’s wrong. But in the end, who really cares? It’s how you resolve it that matters. Sure, it’s entertaining when watching it on TV, but for the people involved, it’s stressful and can be a real turn off.  Outside of TV, it’s the same for us. If you think you’re wrong, own up and apologise – don’t let it drag on and cause bad feeling, do it quickly. Being stubborn just prolongs the tension, doesn’t it? It’s not what you do wrong that matters the most, it’s what you do next. 

Everyone gets talked about

It’s a fact of life and human behaviour – people talk about other people. The question is, what do you want people to say about you? What reasons do you give the people you come into contact with, to say good things? No one is perfect and there’s a very good chance you’ll annoy someone at work and at home at some point. You’ll have made a comment that bothers them (belittled them?), or you’ll have got their back up with your behaviour at work (talked over them?) or habits at home (just wipe your feet before you come in!). In the Big Brother house, the game that’s being played out involves the celebrities talking about each other. But there’s a balance between being honest and upfront (acceptable) and scurrying into a corner to talk behind someone’s back. You’ll always get found out and when you do, you become the bad guy. Have the guts to be honest upfront and be respectful about how you say it. If you’re going to be talked about, you can own and be proud of what’s being said.

You might not be in the Big brother house, but in the real world, there are even more people watching. Would anyone want to evict you from their life?  Worth thinking about, eh?