How to guard your joy and rise above energy vampires - so you can truly enjoy this holiday

Energy Vampires at Christmas: Who They Are and How to Protect Your Wellbeing

By Angela Cook Psychologist and Wellbeing coach

The holiday season arrives as a radiant invitation to joy, reflection, and deep connection—yet beneath its sparkle, our emotional energy faces its greatest test. As a psychologist deeply invested in people’s growth and wellbeing, I must warn that this period brings heightened emotional demands—and with them, the risk of encountering “energy vampires.” Understanding who these Energy Vampires individuals are, how they operate, and why it is essential to guard your energy is crucial for a peaceful and fulfilling Christmas.

Who Are Energy Vampires?

Energy vampires are individuals who, frequently drain your emotional and mental reserves, often without conscious intent. They are the ones “always in crisis, always in drama, always needing or demanding you help and then criticising your lack of helping, hose piping you with unsolicited advice and/or seeking your advice then discounting it.” Their constant need to be the central pin for the wrong reason can quickly make their problems the centre of your world if you allow it.

How Do They Drain You?

Their power lies in drawing you into their drama. You want to be kind, to help, to listen. But as you give your time and energy, you may find yourself exhausted—“drained, with nothing left” to support your wellbeing. I have seen countless individuals, after supporting others, become too depleted to pursue their own goals and maintain personal wellbeing”

Energy vampires often do not seek solutions; they seek confirmation that life is hard, that they are victims, and that things are being done to them. When you engage with them on these terms, you descend to their level and your wellbeing can suffer. As a psychologist, I often assert: wellbeing is paramount and you must guard yours jealously.

Why Must We Absolutely Avoid Them?

The cost of engaging with energy vampires is high. Not only do you lose precious energy, but you also risk internalising their criticism, doubts, fears, and limitations. My professional stance is clear: refusing to engage with their doubt, drama, or complaints is not unkindness—it is a powerful act of self-preservation as you protect your own psychological wellbeing.

How to Protect Yourself This Christmas

• Recognise the Signs: Notice who leaves you feeling drained, anxious, or doubtful after interactions.
• Set Boundaries: It is not only acceptable but necessary to say NO, to step back, or to “close the door” on conversations that sap your energy.
• Refuse to Engage in Drama: Do not be drawn into cycles of crisis or complaint. Offer compassion, but do not let their narrative become yours.
• Prioritise Your Wellbeing: Make time for your own rest, and joy. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
• Guard Your Consciousness: Do not waste your creative energy trying to convince someone who is committed to their limitation, complaining and criticising. Focus and spend time with those who are open minded, uplift and inspire you.

I hope this article empowers you to identify who energy vampires are, how to avoid them, and—if you can’t avoid them—how to create firm boundaries and protect yourself. Above all, make sure you are not the energy vampire.

I have attached below, 5 Practical Tips For Protecting Your Energy.

For more information about how to maintain your wellbeing in this season and ongoing, let’s meet at AngelaEmpowers.coach

Angela Cook is a psychologist and wellbeing coach regularly featured on local, national, and international media.

Download your 5 Practical Tips For Protecting Your Energy https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Cv-ky5DPQ1Xd4S4KefLZAlAkaYuq1chy/view?usp=sharing