Boycie: 19 of the best Only Fools and Horses quotes to commemorate the late John Challis - and famous lines

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‘I’ve left my Mercedes downstairs and you know what they’re like on this estate - they’d have the wheels off a Jumbo if it flew too low’

Only Fools And Horses star John Challis has died from cancer at the age of 79, his family has said.

He was best-known for his portrayal of unscrupulous second-hand car dealer Boycie in the beloved sitcom, alongside Sir David Jason and Nicholas Lyndhurst.

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Boycie, a cigar-smoking businessman with a mocking laugh, was married to the feisty Marlene – played by Sue Holderness – and regularly butted heads with Sir David’s Del Boy.

Holderness said in a statement: “Marlene without Boycie – it’s unthinkable. John Challis was my partner on screen and stage for 36 years and my beloved friend. R.I.P. darling John. I will miss you every day.”

In honour of one of the most beloved comedy characters, here are 19 of Boycie’s best quotes and lines.

19 of the best Boycie quotes

“Come on, Marlene. Let’s go home and ignore each other for the evening.”

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“He’s a Trotter. What more can you say about the man? A couple of years ago I went down the local library and read some ancient manuscripts written by the Elders of Peckham. Did you know, five hundred years ago this was a green and peaceful area? The old Earl of Peckham had a castle where the Kwik-Fit exhaust centre now stands. Flaxen-haired maidens used to dance round the village maypole of an evening. And then one fateful medieval day, the Trotter clan arrived in a stolen Zephyr. Before you knew it the flaxen-haired maidens were up the spout, the old Earl had been sold some hooky armour and someone nicked the maypole. A hundred years after that, the Black Death arrived in England. The people of Peckham thought their luck had changed.”

“Trigger doesn’t have many friends or opportunities for social outlet. Every weekend he goes down to the park and throws bread to the ducks. To him it’s a dinner party. So, during the week he has a straight choice between sitting in the cemetery or sitting in this pub. Unfortunately, the cemetery closes at six.”

“Medals for road sweepers! Good God, they’ll be giving Del Boy an award for good taste next.”

“It's our wedding anniversary in three months - I don't want to spend it playing Ping-Pong with Ronnie Biggs!”

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“I might be able to con people into buying my cars, I might be able to convince them that you conceived and gave birth in seven days flat, but how the hell am I gonna persuade them that my granddad was Louis Armstrong?”

“Have you ever spent an evening in Trigger’s flat? It’s like having a seance with Mr. Bean.”

"If Elsie Partridge really could raise the dead, half the money lenders in Peckham would be employing her."

(Photo: BBC)(Photo: BBC)
(Photo: BBC) | BBC

"I love her, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I think getting married was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. I sometimes think back to when we first met in Lewisham Grove, I wish I never ever walked into that betting shop now."

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"I've left my Mercedes parked downstairs and you know what they're like on this estate. They'd have the wheels off a Jumbo if it flew too low."

“Somebody annoyed me so I hit him in the fist with my eye!”

“I have heard rumours Mickey Mouse wears a Rodney Trotter wristwatch!”

“I remember a few years back when I had that important client coming over from Belgium and I was trying to get tickets to Wimbledon to impress him. You said ‘leave it to me Boycie, I got a contact at Wimbledon’. They drew nil-nil with Ipswich!”

“Everything was going well, we were having a lovely holiday. And then they [the Trotter brothers] turn up! And within fifteen seconds some sod’s shootin’ at us!”

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[On suggestions he’d buried his wife in the garden] “How dare you! Murdered my wife and buried her in the garden? I have never been so insulted in my life. You know how much I’ve spent on that garden! You think I’m going to dig a hole in it?”

[On a dodgy shipment of VHS players] “I’ve just discovered that these machines only work on the continental current. To make them work on the British system, would take a transformer the size of a suitcase, and an electrician of such genius I’d have to go head-hunting at Cape Canaveral!”

“Tyler, when I said ‘tell me about it’, I didn't mean tell me about it - It's just a piece of modern phraseology I picked up from Channel 4.”

“A man like you needs something to reflect your image - I’ve got a lovely Skoda in the forecourt.”

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“Trigger, you haven't got a family history. You were created by a chemical spillage at a germ warfare factory somewhere off the Deptford High Street.”

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