How to feel sexy and empowered in 2025 - Anna Richardson explains why libido is vital for mental and physical health

Libido, or a feeling of sexual desire, is a complex emotion which has evolved over millions of years, crucial to the survival of mankind and other animals. In its basic form, it encourages more men and women to have sex, hence children. Outside procreation, the vast majority of the rest of the time, humans have sex with men, women, or both, because we enjoy it and it’s good for us.

Several scientific studies have found that, on top of pleasure, libido and sex plays a significant role in overall wellbeing, impacting physical, emotional, and social aspects of life.

A healthy libido fosters physical and emotional closeness with a partner, strengthens physical bonds, improves communication, and deepens emotional connection. A healthy libido contributes to a positive self-image, body confidence, mutual and personal satisfaction, an important part of many people's identity and fulfilment.

NationalWorld previously highlighted a study which reported that ejaculating six times a week for a man reduces the risk of prostate cancer and another study published in the prestigious BMJ found that that sex robots (sexbots) improved capacity in elderly men. For women, sex increases brain activity and triggers the release of endorphins and oxytocin, hormones associated with happiness and stress relief, improving mood, reducing anxiety and improving resilience for day-to-day challenges.

Regular sexual activity can help sleep, reduce fatigue, support cardiovascular health, improve circulation, reduce the risk of hypertension and enhance immune function. It can even help regulate hormones like testosterone and oestrogen, which are crucial for health, regular periods, reducing menopausal symptoms and play a critical role in reproduction and fertility.

Studies have reported a correlation between a higher libido with more intense female orgasm and increased fertility.

While it’s normal for libido levels to naturally fluctuate over the month for both men and women, chronically low libido or a sudden change in sexual desire can signal underlying health issues like hormonal imbalances, stress, or chronic conditions. Dietary deficiencies and medical conditions such as an underactive thyroid, anaemia, depression, medication treatments for cancer, diabetes or heart disease. Social and physical issues - such as vaginal dryness, menopausal symptoms and erectile dysfunction - can interfere with libido and be a barrier to sex.

If relevant, these should be discussed with your GP and sometimes a change in regular medication can reap reward.

It is important to note that many postmenopausal women gain considerable improvements in libido and reduction in menopausal symptoms from medical interventions using HRT. Likewise, relationship issues, social trauma such bereavement or redundancy can have a major impact on psychological well-being including libido. An inattentive, aggressive or condescending partner is certainly major turn-off. If possible try to resolve relationship conflicts that affect your libido by investing in relationship counselling.

Practical tips to improve libido

Libido is not a button which can be turned on like a light switch, it needs warming up slowly. Improving libido involves a combination of physical, dietary, emotional, relationship and lifestyle factors. Many middle-aged or even young couples simply drift out of regular sex through lack of effort or by prioritising other routine activities. While they may be happy enough, the lack of physical contact is likely to contribute to relationship issues in the longer term.

It’s important for couples or “throuples” to realise that sex in a relationship is worth preserving and take positive action to stop the embers dying. Here are some practical suggestions on how to keep the fire burning:

Communication with your partner(s) in an open, non-blaming conversations about desires, needs, and boundaries can be the first step towards regaining intimacy and sexual satisfaction.

Sex Education: Despite the plethora of sexually explicit material available online, many people report that the under-the-cover fumblings of their partner simply don’t turn them on. In this case, it may be worth being proactive, and enjoyable, to enrol onto one of the many formal sex education courses.

Allocate a sex day: Allocating a regular evening for sex is advocated by many marriage counsellors and let’s face it, the days of spontaneous steamy frolicking on the kitchen sink are over for the majority of us. Even George and Mildred’s fractious TV sit-com relationship in the 70s stuck to their Wednesday “marital duties” routine. Scheduling protected intimate time can actually help build up anticipation especially if combined with a mutually enjoyable activity such as a nice meal, long walk or even an exercise class, sauna or relaxing in a hot tub.

Spice up your sex: Consider experimenting with new activities, romantic gestures, or different settings to reignite passion. If practical, a long weekend away, in a venue without kids can be a perfect aphrodisiac.

Erotic materials can help many couples with libido issues, but the level and subject matter depends on the dynamics of the couple, their comfort levels, ethical and religious attitudes.

Sharing a spicy story or video can stimulate sexual desire or curiosity and help them feel more engaged sexually. Try to remember that these are only fantasies, so allow you and your partner to explore sexual diversity such as their bisexual side, group scenarios- or even the current trend for “FairyPorn” - no matter how far-fetched it seems: go with the flow without judgement. That said, in the run-up to your sex night, it may be prudent to have conversation about barriers and preferences which need to be avoided that could create tension rather than connection and be a turn-off.

Online flirting has expanded significantly. Websites or apps, in which couples and singles watch each other, can be a safe libido boost when going solo or for couples. The main practical barrier is confidentiality, so some couples wear masks. The more expensive online clubs vet the clientele which helps safeguarding but, this can still be a concern.

Self-gratification: You do not always need two to tango. Enjoying a self-induced organism can be fulfilling for many. Masturbation, however, should be taken seriously and not just banged out in two minutes. Actually for men, this can lead to premature ejaculation issues.

As long ago as 1905 Sigmund Freud hypothesised that masturbation can help psychological health but should be treated with the same respect as sex with other people(s).

Taking time, being comfortable and being suitably aroused with fantasy, erotic stories, pictures and videos can all work. These days, there is much less taboo around sex toys such as vibrators which can enhance the experience.

Lifestyle and dietary factors that can help libido

Boost your phytochemicals, which give food the colour, aroma and taste. Phytochemicals also have enormous health benefits ranging from dampening down excess inflammation, encouraging the production of anti-oxidant enzymes and regulating optimal hormonal levels. Regular intake can contribute to lower fatigue, reduced menopausal symptom levels and a reduced risk of chronic disease. Libido-boosting phytochemical are found in dark chocolate, avocados, and nuts as well as in fruit, cruciferous vegetables, and spices.

In 2024 researchers from a Cambridge University hospital showed that supplement called YourPhyto containing a blend of pomegranate, broccoli, green tea and turmeric, cranberry and ginger improved overall strength and improved erectile function. Another study published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition suggests that men who had diets rich in flavonoids, found in fruits like strawberries, blueberries, and apples, may reduce their risk of developing erectile dysfunction by over 20 per cent.

Dark chocolate also contains phenylethylamine and serotonin, which can elevate mood and stimulate feelings of pleasure, especially for women. Don’t overdo it however, as the theobromine in dark chocolate can give some people a headache and keep you awake.

Balance your minerals: Zinc, magnesium, selenium and other minerals are essential for the normal function of the sex hormones and immune factors. Oysters, clams, mussels and edible seaweed are an excellent source as are nuts such as walnuts and pistachios, and seeds such as pumpkin and sunflower seeds. If you don’t eat these foods regularly a good quality multimineral supplement such as PhytoMineral would be an excellent boost for libido and general health.

Oil up your diet: Healthy Omega 3 and 6 fats support energy and sex hormone production. They also boost mood, ease joint aches and preserve our vasculature. Natural sources include fatty fish such as salmon, mackerel, sardines, herring, trout, and anchovies. Shellfish such as oysters, clams, and crab contain smaller amounts of omega-3s. Algae and seaweed are a good source of both types of long-chain omega 3 fatty acids so are useful for vegetarians and vegans. Some plants contain short-chain omega 3s include flaxseeds, chai seeds, avocado and nut.

Support your vitamin D: A study published in the top medical journal Nature shows that low vitamin D is linked to low mood, reduced libido and sexual dysfunction. Sun bathing, without burning, is the best way to increase vitamin D levels, so a winter holiday can help maintain levels over the darker months. Otherwise, vitamin D supplementation, especially if combined with a probiotic that enhances its effect, is a sensible alternative.

Take care of your gut: Bloating, indigestion, wind or constipation certainly don't put you in the mood for sex but on top of these uncomfortable symptoms, poor gut health causes fatigue, low mood, demotivation for life and low libido. Factors which damage gut health include a lack of exercise, eating processed sugar, smoking, obesity and stress. Factors which improve it include kimchi, kefir, miso soup and prebiotics such as beans, quinoa, lentils. For an extra boost a good quality probiotic/prebiotic blend will certainly help.

Cut back on meat: A study conducted in 2012 showed that ditching meat and dairy for vegetables can greatly improve our mood as a result of the consequent natural increase in serotonin levels. Studies also suggest that the body odour in people eating primarily plant-based diets smelled significantly better and their vaginal juices and semen tasted sweeter.

Regular exercise improves mood-regulating hormones such as thyroxine and adrenaline and cortisol. It helps self-esteem and confidence can improve as person gets stronger, feels fitter and looks better - all of which will help libido.

Manage stress: Chronic stress releases cortisol, which can suppress sex hormones. Practise relaxation techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing, or meditation to lower stress levels.

Prioritise sleep: Aim for seven to eight hours of quality sleep a night to allow hormone levels to stabilise. Details and practical tips on sleep hygiene techniques, diet and the evidence for supplements such as PhtyoNight can be found on the NatureMedical website.

Avoid hormone-disrupting toxins: Scientists have raised concerns about the hormonal effects of cosmetics, household products, plastics and environment pollutants - collectively known as xenoestrogens or endocrine disruptors. They are linked to low fertility and libido, premature puberty and possibly increasing rates of hormone sensitive cancers such as a breast, testis and ovary. Try to limit the number of household cleaning agents and keep the house well ventilated when they are used. Reduce the amount of use of cosmetics, perfumes or deodorants and avoid air fresheners in the house.

Use plain or naturally scented soap instead of shower gels and avoid gels or shampoos containing parabens and preservatives

Limit alcohol: Although a small amount can help reduce some inhibitive barriers and help relax you, more than this can cause erectile dysfunction and decrease sexual desire.

Finally, if you feel you have a medical condition affecting your libido or issues around sex, an appointment with your GP is certainly justified. If you don’t have a medical issue and libido issues persist, consulting a therapist or sex counsellor may be beneficial. For more information about lifestyle and health you may be interested in my book How to Live.

Anna Richardson has a lively podcast called It Can’t Just Be Me. As well as widely entertaining, it explores and discusses daily dilemmas which affect us all.