Dad diagnosed with cancer two days after birth of third child and told it is incurable wants to make memories

A father who was diagnosed with cancer just days after the birth of his third child has now been told the cancer has spread and is incurable. Jay Martin noticed the lump on his neck in March 2023 but dismissed it as a swollen gland.

It wasn’t until it started to get bigger that the 47-year-old became concerned and decided to get it checked out. In May the same year - just two days after the birth of his baby - he went to Musgrove Park Hospital in Taunton, Somerset, to get it looked at.

During the appointment, accompanied by his wife, Sarah, 38, doctors looked down Jay's throat and told him they suspected he had cancer in his tonsil with a biopsy later confirming the diagnosis. Sarah, a beauty trainer, from Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset, said: "They looked down his throat and pretty much then and there confirmed it was cancer in his tonsils. They did a biopsy and within a week they confirmed it was cancer.

"A lot of people thought it would cast a shadow over the birth of our newborn but it was the opposite. It was nice to have something to focus on, Jay would be feeling down and I would walk in with our boy and it would always make him smile."

Within two weeks, Jay had an operation to remove one of his tonsils and started six weeks of chemotherapy and radiotherapy in June 2023. After Jay finished the treatment, a scan showed the cancer had gone from his tonsils but was still in his neck. Sarah said: "When he finished his treatment we had to wait three to four months to see what was going to happen. We went for a scan and they said the cancer was in his neck - it had spread from his tonsils."

In February 2024, Jay underwent a throat dissection - an operation to remove 13 lymph nodes, two nerves, and saliva glands. He then had a break from treatment until a scan showed the cancer had spread to his chest and spine - and doctors gave the family the devastating news it was incurable.

Sarah said: "We waited another four months and in June 2024 we found out it had spread to his chest and spine. They deem it incurable, the hope is that immunotherapy will help stabilise the cancer but we just don't know what will happen."

Jay has now started immunotherapy. Sarah said: "The hope is that the immunotherapy will stabilise the cancer. Jay will have the treatment for two years but we're not sure what will happen. For the first week after finding out the cancer had spread Jay was a mess as you worry about telling the children.

"We had told the children it has spread but haven't told them how bad it could be as we don't know what is going to happen. It is so surreal for us - it doesn't feel like it is happening. We feel numb, I don't think either of us has properly registered what is happening."

Now at the beginning of two years' worth of immunotherapy, relatives and friends have set up a GoFundMe for Jay so the family can make memories. Sarah said: "We're all a member of Berrow Football Club and one of the school mums said she can't stop thinking about what is happening to us.

"Jay is not working and I am not able to work much but we would also really like to do things as a family. We would love to take the kids on a memorable holiday and make as many memories with them as we can."