Christmas jokes for kids: 52 of the best funny and short jokes in 2021 to keep you laughing through Xmas

Christmas is here!

And while, for the second year in a row, it seems like it will be anything but a ‘normal’ celebration, there’s no reason not to keep laughing.

Whether you’re singing classic Christmas songs, engaging in a Yuletide-themed quiz (whether virtually or otherwise), or just strutting about in your favourite Christmas jumper, there are plenty of reasons to keep smiling.

To help you on your way, we’ve compiled over 50 of the funniest jokes about Christmas, and they’re all suitable for kids!

52 of the best funny Christmas jokes

• What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
• What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes!
• Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
• What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!
• Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low elf esteem!
• Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill? The National Elf Service!
• How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
• What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards!
• What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho!
• What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas? A stoc-king!
• Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!
• What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”
• Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elf-is Presley!
• What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!
• Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!
• What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
• What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards!
• Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh!
• What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Santa going through a revolving door!
• Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!
• What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!
• Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off!
• How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side!
• What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!
• When is a boat just like snow? When it’s adrift!
• What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!
• What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
• What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show!
• What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
• How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger!
• What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
• What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
• What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
• What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky!
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
• What does Santa do with out of shape elves? Sends them to an elf farm.
• Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
• Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
• Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party? Because he had nobody to go with!
• Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws!
• What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? Christmas Chopin!
• What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple!
• Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
• What is white and minty? A polo bear!
• Why is winter a snowman’s favourite time of year? Because they can camouflage!
• How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y!
• What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!
• Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them!
• What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsilitis!
• What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!
• What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
• What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!

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