Leap year 2024: 'Women, please don't follow tradition and propose on February 29', urges wedding speech writer

This year is a leap year which means that, along with gaining an extra day in February, women have the opportunity to propose to their partners - if tradition is to be followed that is.

It is a social norm for men to propose to women in hetrosexual relationships, but every four years the addition of February 29 supposedly gives females the opportunity to ask their beau to marry them. This is typically a British and Irish tradition which means a woman can ask for her man's hand, but only on February 29.

One professional who works in the wedding industry has, however, told NationalWorld why she is urging women not to follow tradition in 2024 if they want to get engaged. Heidi Ellert-McDermott is a professional wedding speech writer and the founder of Speechy; a bespoke wedding speechwriting.

Since 2015, the Speechly team have worked with hundreds of pairs from around the world, but Heidi says she can still count on her fingers the number of couple's she’s worked with where the woman has proposed. She’s keen to see more women popping the question - just ideally not on February 29.

"I’d love to see more women taking control of their marital status – but ideally not on the day where we support the myth that women can only propose on one specific day every four years," she says. "I get that the leap year tradition is just a ‘good excuse’ but come on, we shouldn’t need any excuse, should we?

"‘When you look at the leap year tradition, it comes from a sexist time. While I understand it’s cute to propose on a special date, I’d encourage women to make their proposal more unique and, dare I say it, less cheesy.

"‘Apart from same-sex unions, last year we only worked with two couples where the bride had proposed. Just two! Sadly, I think a lot of modern women still have quite old-fashioned ideas about romance. Me included."

'I’d love 2024 to be the year women shake up the romantic traditions'

Twelve years ago, Heidi's husband Roger McDermott proposed to her, but she regrets the fact that she didn't 'get in there first'. She says: "I waited for my now-husband to propose. As someone now working in the wedding industry, I’m embarrassed by that.

"The truth is, I wanted the big romantic gesture of him suggesting marriage, but I now realise it would have been just as romantic if I’d proposed. And, it would have been a cool thing to tell my daughter. I hate to think I was passively waiting and hoping he’d get round to it."

Ellert-McDermott wants women to take more control of their love lives. This is particularly because, after speaking to hundreds of grooms over the years, she believes that many grooms have proposed to their brides after ‘heavy-hinting’ from their partners. She therefore wishes women would take more initiative.

"‘Look, I’d always encourage anyone proposing to subtly suss out if their partner wants to get married before getting down on one knee. But if you’re confident they’re up for a life of commitment, it’s so much cooler to propose than it is to bully your partner in to proposing," she says.

"I’d love 2024 to be the year women shake up the romantic traditions. So many wedding traditions are still strangely sexist – from the proposals to the wedding speeches – and it’s time we stepped up. It’s sad that so many women still feel they should wait for the man to take control."

She adds: "When we work with clients on their wedding speeches, the only proposal stories that make the cut are the unusual ones. It doesn’t need to be grand or especially clever, it just needs to be a proposal that reflects the couple’s love story, rather than conforming to the stereotypical romantic ideals or expectations."

Reassuringly, all the proactive women the Speechy team have worked with loved proposing - and their partners were overjoyed. No groom was shocked or disappointed they weren’t given an opportunity to propose, says Ellert-McDermott.

She says: "Ultimately, I welcome women proposing on any day of the year, but I’d encourage everyone to be more imaginative with their proposal dates and not conform to any outdated concepts or days that are deemed universally ‘romantic’. So, forget Valentines Day and scrap the leap year proposal. Instead think about how your proposal can be a true reflection of you as a couple."

So, ladies, if you to want to propose to your other half this year then when is a good time, if not February 29? Ellert-McDermott has some suggestions.

"If he’s a dessert fiend, pop the question on Sticky Toffee Pudding Day (January 23) or if he loves a quiz, how about setting him a challenge on National Puzzle Day (January 29)? Fingers crossed, he’s quick to answer the ‘will you marry me?’ question."