'Snowmancing' & 'holidazing' - 2 dating trends to be aware of

'Snowmancing' and 'holidazing' are two festive dating trends to be aware of if you're in a new relationship or seeking a potential partner this Christmas, according to two relationship experts. Stock image by Adobe Photos.

Tis the season for getting warm and cosy and, for those seeking companionship, it's also cuffing season - a time when people enter in to short-term relationships to keep themselves warm, physically and emotionally, during the winter season.

But, now that Christmas is upon us, there are two more dating trends which have appeared which are linked specifically to the festive season. They are called 'snowmancing' and 'holidazing' - you may need to be wary of them, especially if you are hoping for a long term relationship and do not want a festive fling.

'Snowmancing' is similar to a whirlwind holiday romance experienced at the height of summer; it has the potential to go either way - you could either end up with a picture perfect romance with the best meet cute story or you could be left unattached and feeling frosty. You'll need to tread carefully if you enter into a 'snowmance', but it may be worth the risk if you do want a long term bond.

'Holidazing’, however, is something you definitely need to stay away from, no matter what your romantic intentions. This is a manipulative tactic daters use to attract a potential date, by leaning into Hollywood cliches selfishly to attract prospective partners. Keep reading to find out more about each of these trends so that you can differentiate between the two and learn the signs you need to look out for so you can get what you want out of dating this Yuletide time.

What is 'snowmancing'?

‘Snowmancing’ is “a dating behaviour, which sees individuals immerse themself in a seasonal romance embracing the holiday spirit, according to Emma Hathorn, the in-house dating expert at luxury dating website Seeking.com. "From cosy fireside chats to ice-skating and sipping hot chocolate at winter markets, it's all about living out those picture-perfect movie moments you’d find in your classic festive rom com. But when the credits roll and the snow melts, the magic often fades. It's a festive whirlwind, but finding a love that lasts beyond the season? That's the real plot twist," she says.

Why do people seek 'snowmances'?

Around this time of year, most people are seeking out the warmth, connection, and the joys of a relationship. Sharing special moments, exchanging gifts, and indulging in the season's festivities often encourages individuals to open themselves up to romance, Hathorn told NationalWorld. "Snowmancing tends to thrive in this atmosphere of heightened emotions and shared festivities, drawing people into relationships that feel like the perfect escape from the usual stresses and routine of everyday life," she adds.

What are the benefits and challenges of 'snowmancing'?

These relationships offer an extraordinary, movie-like connection that fosters personal growth through enriching experiences, says Hathorn. However, she has a warning -"as the holiday magic fades and reality sets in, couples may face a sudden shift, prompting a reality check that may reveal hidden differences not noticeable when they were wrapped up in the festive whirlwind."

What is 'holidazing'?

Holidazing is a new dating trend that sees singletons intentionally leading on potential love interests by deceptively leaning into the nostalgic romance familiar in Christmas rom coms by pulling on the heart strings, in order to secure a seasonal partner, explains Rhian Kivits, sex and relationship expert for Gen Z dating app Fruitz.

She told NationalWorld: “It’s a manipulative and toxic dating tactic where singletons pull out all the stops to give the impression they’re looking for a ‘forever’ partner, by copying cliche Hollywood behaviours and actions. Instead, they’re selfishly duping them into a false sense of security, providing a ‘fairy-tale’ experience by masquerading their intentions - be it long term or short. It’s a combination of the trends ‘love bombing’, 'future-faking' and the ‘situationship’ but with a heady dose of Christmas nostalgia.”

What are the signs of 'holidazing' to look out for?

If someone is coming on too strong and giving over the top compliments and romantic gestures, it could be a sign that you are being 'holidazed', warns Kivits. She adds: "If their behaviour feels excessive and overly affectionate, it’s worth asking yourself whether it feels genuine or if it is moving too quickly.

"Also, if they're reluctant to introduce you to their friends and family and seem to be keeping you at arm’s length from their everyday life, it could be that they're not serious about securing you as a partner and don't truly intend to make a commitment to you.”

“In addition, if they only want to see you when it’s convenient for them, or one-on-one, or on their terms, this could be a sign that they are just looking for something fleeting over the festive period, instead of giving the relationship the time it needs to build to a stronger connection and stable emotional bond. It’s all about seeing whether their words and affections marry up with their actions.”

How can 'holidazing' be avoided?

"It essential to set boundaries and be upfront about your intentions in any relationship," explains Kivits. "If someone is acting in a way that doesn’t make you feel comfortable, it is important that you pull them up on their actions. Similarly, if someone is giving the impression they want something long term but then their actions don’t marry up tell them. This will help you to put guard rails in place when dating.”

Red flags to look out for if you're dating over the festive period

Rhian Kivits has explained the eight red flags you need to be aware of in new relationships:

Mismatched relationship goals and intentions: “This is one of the biggest red flags over the festive season. As well as being focused on what you want right here and now, it's important to check-in with both of your plans and dreams for the future.”
Love bombing: “Commonly used by people with narcissistic tendencies, be careful of anyone who is overly praising you or showering you with compliments. Sometimes this is used as a manipulation tactic to get your trust quickly, ultimately taking control of the relationship.”
Future faking: “When a potential partner starts making grandiose promises about the future, it's a sign that they could simply be trying to instigate a swift attachment. In truth, the way your future together looks should develop over time, as you get to know each other and learn about each other’s aspirations and goals. If you feel like the promises your love interest is making are not genuine, listen to your intuition and don't allow yourself to be swept away.”
Breadcrumbing: “Breadcrumbing takes place when the person you are dating gives you snippets of sporadic encouragement to stay engaged without any real commitment. This commonly takes place in the form of late-night weekend messages and then there's no follow up reply. A good way to test this is to not reply and if they are really interested, they'll follow up with another message.”
Gaslighting: “A serious red flag to look out for is when someone says things that makes you question your own reality, thoughts, feelings, and memories. It centres on misleading and creating a false narrative, making the other question their judgments. This can cause serious distress and is a manipulative technique used by someone who wants to take full control through emotional abuse.”
Lack of friends: “This can be a red flag if the person you are dating seems to live a life in silo, as it shows that they have an issue with creating and maintaining relationships with others, and you may experience the same.”
Gatekeeping: “Another serious red flag is gatekeeping, the act of withholding information or opportunities from someone else as a way to assert power. This could be in the form of not being honest with feelings, failing to introduce you to their friends or family, or in worse circumstances withholding access to money or resources.”
Bringing up old flames: “This can be particularly common when you first start dating someone and is a good indication of how past relationships have been. Note the language they use when referring to old flings and relationships and if it makes you feel uncomfortable it's ok to call it out and lay boundaries.”

What can you do if you're worried about the longevity of your new relationship post-festive season?

If you're concerned about the future of your relationship after the holidays, communication is key, advises Hathorn. She suggests people take time to discuss their expectations, values, and long-term goals openly and honestly. She also says people should consider if the connection they made was purely a result of seeking out a partner for the holidays or if there's actually a solid foundation to build upon.

She adds: "There is no reason why a relationship that feels like a silver screen romance can’t be a day-to-day reality, it’s just that it has to be maintained. Raising your dating expectations is one thing, keeping those expectations raised is another. It’s essential to build a life together that not only meets those expectations, but exceeds them; don’t settle for a snowmance that’s bound to melt when the sun comes out."

Don’t feel bad about pulling someone up on their behaviour, if you’re receiving mixed signals and you suspect you are being 'holidazed', says Kivits. “It doesn’t have to be confrontational. A way to do this is to ask them how they would feel about committing to an event or occasion in the future and see how they react. You’ll find it incredibly empowering as sends a clear message that you know what you want by setting expectations.

“If they’re right for you, they will reassure you, show commitment and take stock and accountability. As always, it’s about reading the room and going with your gut feeling."Don’t feel bad about pulling someone up on their behaviour, if you’re receiving mixed signals and you suspect you are being 'holidazed', says Kivits. “It doesn’t have to be confrontational. A way to do this is to ask them how they would feel about committing to an event or occasion in the future and see how they react. You’ll find it incredibly empowering as sends a clear message that you know what you want by setting expectations.

“If they’re right for you, they will reassure you, show commitment and take stock and accountability. As always, it’s about reading the room and going with your gut feeling."

'Snowmancing' and 'holidazing' - two dating trends to be aware of if you're in a new relationship this Christmas