It’s A Mad Bad Funny And Sad (And Very Dangerous) World We Live In

If you like extraordinary true life stories this is the book for you.

Imagine being woken up in the middle of the night by an ‘itchy’ feeling at the top of your leg and when you scratch it you can’t feel yourself scratching, and no matter how hard you scratch you still can’t feel yourself scratching your leg. Then when you look down you realise why. You’re not scratching your leg. You’re scratching the head of an 18ft python that’s swallowing you alive and has swallowed you right up to your hips

Imagine being a 13 year-old boy and you come home from school and your dad asks you to go to the shop to get some flowers for your mum and when you come back you find your dad hanging at the top of the stairs with a rope around his neck. Dead. Having hung himself knowing that you’d be the one that would find him.

And if you were happily married with three great kids and you were successful, with a good job and had no worries in life, what could cause you to feel totally worthless and useless to anybody and make you feel so low that it forces you into bouts of deep depression that are absolute torture and that you struggle to get out of?

These two stories give an insight into what it’s like to suffer with your mental health.

Imagine walking into Harrods and spending £65,000 on a sofa, £3,000 on a rug, £7,000 on a coffee table (that you put on top of your £3,000 rug!) £15,000 on a bed and £4,000 on baubles for the Christmas tree! And you give your wife a £70,000 a year handbag allowance. Welcome to the world of the super-rich.

Imagine being forced to watch as a loved one is shot dead in front of you and then two weeks after burying them you open your front door one morning and see their corpse propped up against a wall outside your house. It’d be pretty horrific wouldn’t it?

Now imagine how it must feel to be forced to watch not just one loved one being shot dead in front of you but being forced to watch as every single member of your family - including your wife, your kids, your grandkids and your mum and dad - are shot dead in front of you, and then seeing ALL their corpses propped up against a wall outside your house when you open your front door one morning. Well that’s what can happen if you cross the Mexican Drug Cartels.

And can dogs really sense danger and know when something bad is going to happen like it’s said they can? One woman who was sceptical they could now think’s differently after her dogs began howling and wailing one night seconds before her husband was killed in a road traffic accident.

And parents often say that if anyone ever harmed their kids they’d kill the person responsible and make them suffer. Though in reality most parents wouldn’t do it. But one parent did do it. And not only did he make the perpetrator suffer he made him suffocate. By burying him alive.

And would you be able to keep a straight face if you worked on reception at A&E in your local hospital and a half naked man hobbled in with a cucumber wedged in his anus and when you asked him how it got there he said that he was making a salad in the nude and dropped the cucumber and slipped and fell on it and it got stuck up his bum!

We live in a world that’s full of lame excuses too!

From the frightening to the fascinating to the wonderful and the weird, and from the horrific to the hilarious to the heartbreaking and the inhumane, if you like extraordinary true life stories this is the book for you.