Everyone is 'demuremaxxing' and talking being 'very demure' and 'very mindful' on TikTok- but it's very stupid
A TikToker has gone viral for discussing how she gets ready for work - claiming to be “very demure” and “very mindful”, but it makes me very fed up.
TikTok user Jools LeBron, known by the username @joolieannie has been uploading lots of videos in recent weeks where she advises how to be “demure” in recent weeks after her initial video gained millions of views.
In the clip that launched what has since become her catchphrase, she said: “You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure. Very mindful. I don’t come to work with a green-cut crease. I don’t look like a clown when I go to work. I don’t do too much. I’m very mindful while I’m at work. You see how I look very presentable? The way I came to the interview is the way I got the job.”
She went on to say: “I’m very modest. I’m very mindful. You see my shirt? Only a little chee chee out, not my cho cho. Be mindful of why they hired you. Here’s your reality check, diva. What’s the name you’d like me to make it out to?”
Now, if you’ve just read that and recoiled in horror, I don’t blame you. I did too. But, don’t worry, the videos are actually a satirical take on traditional views of feminism. LeBron isn’t being demure at all.
The word demure, of course, means reserved, modest, and shy and is typically used to describe women. Or, do worry. Because it’s still just another trend which is focused on how women look and how women behave. Even if it does have the best of intentions.
Some people believe that in, creating the video, LeBron is hitting back at another TikTok trend - the TradWife trend which is all about women acting as “tradtional wives and looking after their homes, husbands and children. LeBron hasn’t actually confirmed this, however, but it does seem as though she’s trying to make a point against how women are “supposed” to be.
While I understand the point she’s trying to make - if indeed it is the point she’s trying to make - I just can’t help but be exhaused by it. Other videos from LeBron include advice on how to thank hotel staff in a suitable way, how to be demure when you have "midnight munchies” and also how to be demure while going out.
The trend has even been used by some famous faces. Bob The Drag Queen created his own version of the original video, lip syncing to LeBron’s original audio. It also got millions of views.
It just makes my heart sink though. I’m fed up of discussing how women should or should not be. I just want to see women posting videos being their true selves - without trying to make a point, make fun, or jump on a trend bangwagon. The only way we normalise women genuinely being exactly how they want to be is to just stop talking about it and letting them get on with it.
As well as “very demure”, LeBron also likes to use the phrase “very modest” - while, again, not being modest at all. The word “demuremaxxing” was then created. The suffix “maxxing” has been used in other trends in the context meaning taking them to extreme. It’s often attached to trends which have gone viral as everyone starts making their own versions of the original content - which is exactly what has happened in this case. If you ask me, this trend is ‘stupidmaxxing’.