It's only October - please stop talking about Christmas

No matter which store you go into, whether it's a supermarket, home and garden store or just a cafe, everyone has wheeled out the Christmas merchandise. Michael Buble is being brought down from the attic as we speak, and someone is working on defrosting Mariah Carey.

But here's the harsh reality - it's the middle of October, and no matter how excited people might be for Christmas, it's just far too early.

Retailers are nothing short of relentless all year round; we go from new year sales to Valentine's Day, Easter, summer, back-to-school, Halloween and Christmas without so much as a by your leave. Every year, these retailers jump the gun months in advance, forcing consumers to fear missing out (FOMO) on what's coming up next.

It clearly works for them, and it does make sense for people to spread the cost, especially around Christmas. But when a 6ft Santa is singing Jingle Bells in The Range on 10 October, and Costa is wheeling out mince pies, it feels somewhat gratuitous.

The coffee chain's food innovation director, Naomi Matthews, even said in a press release that "it might seem a little early to mention Christmas" but insisted the firm couldn't keep the mince pies to themselves. I'm just shy of 19 stone so I love a mince pie as much as the next porky reporter, but they are a December treat only (this can extend to January if you have some left over).

This Christmas it's just me, the wife and our cat at home - in December we'll put our decorations up, buy our Christmas food and sort out gifts, and not a moment before.

Fellas, I'll see you in the shops on Christmas Eve.