Expert reveals 4 unique ways to practice self-love

Studies show that practicing self-love boosts mental well-being for 59% of people and improves interpersonal relationships for 44%, proving that self-care isn’t just a trend, it’s essential. With this in mind, Brian Clarke, wellness expert and owner of UK Saunas, shares 4 lesser-known ways to show yourself love.

1. Discover your self-love language

Love languages aren’t only valuable for interpersonal relationships, they’re also a powerful tool to help us understand how we can best nurture ourselves. Originally developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, they include Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

“Many people overlook the fact that the way we instinctively show love to others is often the way we crave to receive it ourselves. By identifying your personal love language, you can tailor your self-care routine in a way that feels truly fulfilling.

To discover yours, think about how you naturally express affection or take one of the many free online quizzes. Then, incorporate that knowledge into your self-care. For those with a ‘quality time’ love language, this might look like a solo dinner date or taking yourself on a long walk. If ‘physical touch’ is most important to you, many people swear by monthly massages, a warm bath, or even just cosying up under a weighted blanket.”

2. Create a playlist of love songs dedicated to yourself

Creating a curated playlist of songs for a loved one is an idea as old as time. For decades, people have created mixtapes, CDs, and now Spotify playlists as heartfelt gestures for loved ones. But, with crafting a playlist being a labour of love, the same applies for yourself.

“This isn’t just the standard playlist you make every so often to reflect your mood; spend some time carefully picking out songs that remind you of your strength, worth, and every version of you.”

TikTok users have described this practice as ‘life-changing,’ with many noting how singing along to love songs feels surprisingly affirming. The science backs it up, as it works in the same way as positive affirmations to improve self-perception and boost self-esteem.

“Affirmation activities activate the ventral striatum and prefrontal cortex, the areas involved in motivation and reinforcement learning This means that, over time, this can help rewire your brain to think more positively towards yourself, similar to how habits and addictions form. So, whilst the idea of singing ‘I will always love you” to yourself may make you wince, you'd be surprised by the impact it can have on your self-worth!”

3. Keep your space clean and tidy

While Valentine’s Day might not seem like the obvious time to grab a mop or declutter your space, creating a peaceful and organised home is actually one of the most tangible ways to show yourself love.

“Research has repeatedly shown that a clean, organised space can lower stress, improve sleep quality, and even enhance self-esteem. A cluttered environment has the opposite effect, increasing cortisol levels and making it harder to focus. Decluttering isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s an opportunity to reassess what serves you and what doesn’t. As you tidy, ask yourself: do I still need this? Does it bring me joy?”

With 44% of UK adults now working from home, the state of our environment plays an even bigger role in our daily mindset.

"We spend more time at home than ever before, working, unwinding, and taking care of ourselves and others. That’s why maintaining a clean, clutter-free space is more than just a chore; it’s an essential act of self-care. And if you need extra motivation, cleaning itself is a mood booster. The brain interprets organising and decluttering as a reward, releasing dopamine."

4. Mirror work

It’s one thing to think positive thoughts about yourself, but it’s another to say them out loud while looking yourself in the eye. Mirror work, a simple yet powerful self-love practice, has been shown to boost self-esteem and reduce anxiety, according to research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology.

"Eye contact with your own reflection is about truly acknowledging your worth. By speaking affirmations aloud while looking in the mirror, you reinforce their truth, helping your brain embody them on a deeper level." In fact, studies show that affirmations activate the same brain regions as reward-based behaviours like drug use, making them a powerful tool for self-perception and confidence.

If affirmations feel a little awkward, you can try another science-backed technique called the high-five habit. Popularised by self-help author Mel Robbins, this involves giving yourself a high five in the mirror every morning, just as you would encourage a friend.

“When you see yourself performing a familiar positive gesture, your brain processes it as if someone else is celebrating you, triggering a boost in mood and self-compassion.”

Ultimately, there is no one best approach to self-love. It’s deeply personal and comes down to what specifically makes you happy. A quick scroll through the comments of any TikTok self-care video proves just how varied self-love can be - whether it’s ‘learning new things’, ‘grilling myself a perfect steak’, ‘reading a good book’, or simply ‘being authentically myself’.

“What matters most is being intentional about prioritising yourself. By recognising what makes you feel valued and fulfilled, you can create a self-care routine that truly supports your well-being."