Jeremy Clarkson has pop at Elton John, David Beckham and Rachel Johnson saying Instagram is an “effing nightmare”

Instagram is an “effing nightmare” comparable to the “dross” in Elton John's back catalogue, as well as being “depressing” thanks to comparing yourself David Beckham - that’s according to outspoken TV host, Jeremy Clarkson. The former Top Gear and Grand Tour star, who now attracts millions of viewers to his Clarkson's Farm show on Amazon, took aim at the social media platform in a recent Sunday Times column.

“It seems to me then that social media is like Elton John’s greatest hits. You get Your Song and Tiny Dancer and Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting,” the 64-year-old wrote. “And none of the dross he wrote when he was a halfwit trying to make a go of things without any help from Bernie Taupin (who co-wrote a string of hits with Elton).”

He said Instagram was an “effing nightmare”, as it makes him “miserable” while nursing weekend hangovers, saying picture perfect posts from the likes of Beckham were comparable to songwriter Elton’s “greatest hits”.

On former Manchester United and Real Madrid star Beckham's recent snaps posted as part of a fashion campaign, Clarkson wrote: “We’d all like to live like that. And we all think he does. Which is depressing for those who can’t. So come on David. Have a heart. Show us your chalfonts (haemorrhoids).”

Elsewhere, he took aim at radio presenter and journalist Rachel Johnson - sister of former Prime Minister, Boris - saying her posts usually involved “a hearty walk” or “sitting round a roaring fire at a cottage in Devon, playing Scrabble with her wholesome and interesting friends”.

The criticisms come as the famously-grumpy star - who recently hit the headlines protesting the introduction of inheritance tax on farmers - has been forced to reduce his alcohol intake and increase his exercise following a health scare last year.

After experiencing a range of symptoms, Clarkson was taken to the hospital, where doctors said he was perhaps “days away” from getting seriously ill. He was fitted with a stent, which improves blood flow to the heart, and quit smoking.