Government in UK 'Tea Alarm' talks after concept goes viral on social media
Plans for a UK 'Tea Alarm' are causing a stir after the concept recently went viral across social media. Despite the concept being thoroughly debunked, the introduction of a real-life teatime alert is now apparently “in the bag” as a newly formed government body investigates the logistics.
It is understood the UK-wide warning bell to brew up will resemble the videos released on TikTok showing people racing to grab a cuppa when the alarm sounds - or face the consequences. Now, the government has confirmed it is testing the klaxon - set to be sounded in towns, villages and cities across the country - which will be managed by a newly-created ministry, the British Reminiscence Education Watchdog (BREW).
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Hide AdNewly made-up Minister for Tea, Thomas Leaves, revealed the plan for the daily midday Tea Alarm after the videos emerged online. Mr Leaves said: "In these times of polarisation around the world, this government wants people to be proud of being British again."
"And while we can't afford to do much, we found a shed full of unused air raid sirens the other week and came up with this, which will cost an estimated £94 billion."
The minister confirmed Tea Alarms would be installed alongside bells in thousands of church spires around the country in the coming months. "We see this as a cheap way of imposing national service really," Mr T Leaves added.
"For what could be more British than a cup of tea - preferably served in a Union Jack mug with digestives and the national anthem playing in the background?"
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A full advertising campaign is set to accompany the rollout of the alarm featuring former A-Team star Mr Tea - who is understood to have changed his name by deed poll for the launch - delivering the line, "Don't be no fool, fool - drink your tea".
However, the Tea Alarm has been slammed by human rights campaigners, who claim the enforced consumption of a brew is "just plain wrong". April Thirst, a spokesperson from the Joint Operation of Knocking Everything (JOKE), said: “What if you don't like tea? I know I much prefer a skinny mocha latte with whipped cream and almond milk."
Business leaders have also condemned the scheme, saying millions of work hours could be lost to tea-induced toilet breaks each year. "This is all we need," said Phil Stirrer, head of the Cuppa Break Initiative (CBI), a business campaign group opposing the plan.
"People will be disappearing from virtual meetings constantly, nipping to the loo. I do love a cup of Earl Grey mind; one sugar."
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Hide AdHe added: "I also heard they were considering a new bank holiday - Rosie Lee Day - but then realised no one has a clue who she actually is."
Although BREW denied any decisions had been made over punishments for citizens ignoring the alarm, it is understood penalties could include forcing tea-fendents to work in the community, putting the kettle on for the elderly and taking part in educational talks on how long to steep a teabag.
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