'I felt like I could die': Former K-pop idol Tony An reveals depression battle, injured himself during crisis
A former K-pop idol has revealed that he has been diagnosed with depression.
Speaking to Super Junior’s Kim Heechul on SBS’s My Little Old Boy as reported by Koreaboo, former H.O.T. member Tony An revealed his struggles with depression, bipolar disorder, and social phobia.
When asked directly, “Do you get depression?” to which Tony responded, “I think so.”
Despite finding success in entertainment and business ventures, including a school uniform brand, Tony admitted that his mental health deteriorated over time. He distanced himself from friends, struggling to open up about his hardships. His relationship with his manager also became strained after their professional dynamic changed from friends to CEO and employee, leading to feelings of loneliness.
He recalled turning to alcohol and experiencing severe headaches that persisted even after taking more than eight painkillers. After seeking medical attention, Tony was diagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder, and social phobia and became reliant on psychiatric medication.
One morning, after mixing alcohol with medication, he woke up to find blood under his pillow. Looking in the mirror, he discovered that he had cut his own hair with scissors and injured his ear - with no recollection of what had happened.
Later, he learned that he had even broken a lift mirror during the episode. The experience was a wake-up call. “I felt like I could die if I continued this,” he said.
Following the incident, Tony made a personal commitment to never mix alcohol and medication again. He said he has been working to restrain himself and take control of his mental health.
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