Influencer Veruca Salt accused of 'grief Olympics' as she claims losing a baby during pregnancy is not the same as a child dying after birth

TikTok and Instagram influencer Veruca Salt’s baby son Cash died suddenly at the age of just one-month-old old back in February last year.

At the time Salt, whose real name is Kimberley Summer Hartley, took to her Instagram Stories to tell her social media followers that her only child had died but she didn’t know why. She described that her son had died "in his sleep" on Monday February 5 2024, but she didn’t "know what happened". It was then discovered that the tot died in his sleep from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Earlier this week, Salt caused a storm online when she shared a photo of Cash after his death. Many felt she should have given a trigger warning before posting the image, but she was defiant in her choice.

Now, the 26-year-old has created another fierce debate by seeming to compare the ways that people can lose babies.

Taking to her TikTok, she began her video by saying that “so many” mums who have lost their babies “find comfort” in speaking to one another, “no matter how their baby died”. She claimed that those mums recognise that if they ways they lost their children is not the same then they don’t have the same experience.

Then, she stated: “For some reason, women who lose a pregnancy at nine weeks want to pretend like they know what it’s like to lose a baby to SIDS. Why?”

She then likened the comparison to women who have had abortions saying they know what women who had miscarriages felt like - adding that the women who had miscarriages would be “furious”.

On another video, she further hit out and accused some women of “wanting in to the ‘my baby died club’ so bad”. Explaining her view that “terminology matters”, the grieving mum went on to speak directly to the mums who have had miscarriages who she claimed had told her they know how she feels.

“Your baby did not die,” she said. “You had a miscarriage. You did not have a living baby that died. You want to make it sound worse but you’re minimising what happened to me because you want to make your pain sound worse.”

She finished her emotional video by stating that if there was no funeral or death certificate then this means, in her view, that a baby did not die. In the UK, baby loss certificates are available for any parent who has experienced the loss of a baby before 24 weeks of pregnancy, or 28 weeks if the loss occurred before October 1992.

Salt’s video’s caused outrage, with one person accusing her of playing “grief Olympics”. Many shared their own experiences to tell their views. “My sister died inside of my mum. And she still had to push her out. We had a funeral and a death certificate too,” one person said. Salt simply replied: “That’s a still birth.”

One fan said: “It’s different, but it’s not less valid?” Another fan replied and said: “She just said you can’t compare, not that it’s invalid because it’s not, you just can’t compare the grief.” Another fan weighed in and said they believed grief can be compared.

Another person penned: “Grief doesn’t come with categories, there’s no sliding pain scale. She doesn’t get to invalidate my feelings towards my miscarriage, because her baby survived birth. Perhaps there is no baby death olympics and we should just be allowed to grieve. I loved Veruca but this has really rubbed me the wrong way. You do not get to tell me what’s valid and what’s not.”

Some fans did agree with Salt, however. One fan told her: “Babe, I understand. I lost my baby EARLY pregnancy, you HELD yours, felt him move, heard his cry and his gurgles.” Someone else said: “Miscarriages are hard. Losing your baby to SIDS is harder. They are NOT the same!”

Another person shared their own harrowing experience: “ I had a stillborn daughter. She died during my labour she was perfect,” they said. “2 weeks after the week of her funeral someone said to me ‘at least she didn’t live and then die because then you’d miss her more’. Are you okay in your mind? Of course I will miss her, she’s my daughter.”

Salt, who rose to fame by posting content on OnlyFans, gave birth to her son, Cash Harrison Stirling, on Tuesday December 19 2023 and confirmed the news with her Instagram followers in a post at the time. She had previously announced that she was expecting a baby boy in June 2023 by sharing a photo of herself with a cake which had blue in the centre.

• If you have been affected by baby loss, you can ring Sands helpline on 0808 164 3332.