Decluttering - where to begin? Expert tips on getting on top of clutter that could even improve your love life

With Valentine’s Day almost behind us it could mean attention returns to a partner’s annoying little habits, and while loving someone often means putting up with certain foibles, sometimes small issues become big problems resulting in a break up.

Rather drastically, recent research by local sharing app, Olio, found one in six adults had considered breaking up with someone because of how messy they are, raising the question- how much can a cluttered home really impact our love lives.

In a bid to find out, the experts at London House Clearance Company partnered with Professional Organiser and Life Coach Louise Simpson to reveal how clutter can cause havoc in relationships, with five essential tips to make room for love and a better you this Valentine's day.

Understand your visual noise tolerance

One phenomenon Louise shares is visual noise, which could well be driving you and your partner apart, “clutter affects the brain, just like actual noise. Everyone has a different tolerance—one person may barely notice a mess, while another finds it overwhelming, with a much lower mental capacity for it.”

Those less tolerant may find clutter mentally overloading, leading emotions astray: “Your brain constantly registers clutter, triggering thoughts like, “Why can’t I keep my home tidy like everyone else? Which can ultimately lead to fatigue, reduced focus and strained communication”.

The report by Olio suggests that almost half of couples argue every week about clutter in their homes, with a quarter admitting their partner’s approach to tidiness has strained their relationship

If you are a victim of visual noise, Louise suggests clear communication. “Instead of saying, "Why do you leave your stuff everywhere?", try expressing, "This really stresses me out, and I can't rest at bedtime." Once you understand each other's tolerance for clutter, you can compromise—designating personal spaces or setting boundaries to keep shared areas calm”.

Make your space accessible to a partner

Making sure your space is inviting and accessible is the key to unlocking a romance at home. “Avoid clutter near bedroom entrances—ensure the way in is clear and accessible. This applies throughout the home, but in the bedroom, especially if you're creating a romantic and inviting space, accessibility matters” she shares.

And if you've been single for a while, your bedroom setup is likely designed for just you - but if you're looking to welcome a partner, consider adjusting the layout. “Little changes, such as pulling the bed away from the wall and adding a bedside table on each side creates balance and make the space feel more inviting.”

Sentimental clutter: How to let go without losing the memories

Depending on how sentimental you are, holding on to things in general (especially from a prior relationship) could hold you back more than you realise. "Clutter can be a sign that you haven’t moved on. But it depends on the person—some people keep items from past relationships with no emotional ties, while for others, it’s a reminder they’d rather not have."

It's estimated that 45% of us cling to things for sentimental reasons. One approach to bear in mind is the Lemon Theory- a mentality shift for those who struggle to let go of items: "Studies have shown that people physically react just to the thought of biting a lemon. This shows that just because you don’t physically have the item, it doesn’t mean the memory perishes. Just like we cherish moments with photos, I encourage people to take photos of items to keep the memory, rather than letting them take up physical space.”

Decluttering: Where to begin?

For some, thinking about how to start decluttering is more complex than actually doing it. Louise suggests a digestible approach to get going: ”Break it down into chunks. Start with an area that feels easier - to help build your organising muscles and continue to work through each area of your home. Having collection points for items to donate, rubbish, and recycling to collate items, makes it more methodical, whilst helping with motivation as you can see how much you’ve already let go of.”

Being realistic is crucial when trying to whittle down your possessions. “Often, people think they will sell items in the future, but when they realise what they might actually get for it, and the effort it takes, they decide to either donate or let go of it through other routes - as really, it isn’t worth their time”.

Keeping on top: “Reset, Reset, Reset”

De-cluttering is one task; ensuring things don’t creep back up is another. “In nurseries, children are taught to reset—when they finish playing with Lego, they put it away before moving on to finger painting. Yet, as adults, we often forget to apply this principle in our homes.”

A quick reset after each activity keeps your space organised and mentally refreshing. “This habit can reduce stress, improve focus, and make your home feel more balanced, creating more mental space for relationships and more fulfilling thoughts”.

Keeping on top this way can have profound effects, as Louise shares, “I’ve seen clients experience real transformations—whether feeling ready to start dating again, improving their relationships, or pursuing career changes. With fewer distractions and a clearer mindset, they’ve gained the confidence to go for that promotion, sign up for that course, or say yes to new opportunities.”