On Wednesdays we date: How Mean Girls film revival is influencing our approach to relationships and dating

The iconic film Mean Girls is having a revamp 20 years after the cult classic first appeared on our screens and redefined pop culture. Since the film’s first release, in 20024,things have changed drastically – including how we date.

Back then, Match may have been around for almost ten years, but it still wasn't commonplace to meet a partner online, Plenty of Fish had only just launched the year prior and Tinder wouldn't be at our fingertips for another eight years. Facebook was also in its infancy, having been launched in February of 2004, and the word TikTok was something people said when they were referring to the sound of a clock.

Potential partners communicated with each other via telephone call and text, and if a new connection was made - in or out of high school - people would find out about it by seeing the newly formed couple walking hand in hand down the street, rather than via a status update.

But, now, as the second Mean Girls film hits the cinema it's all changed, and that means that so has our approach to relationships and dating - and some of them are inspired by the cult classic. Luxury dating site Seeking.com has identified new concepts including ‘burnbooking’, ‘mean-girling’, ‘ditching fetch’ and ‘on Wednesdays we date’ as emerging trends we should be adopting into our dating lives to secure a connection that lasts longer than a surface level high school fling. 

So, what exactly are these trends and what do you need to know about them if you're on the look out for love in 2024?  Emma Hathorn, in-house dating expert at luxury Seeking.com has spoken to NationalWorld to give us all the must-have details.

‘Burnbooking’

 What is it?

“‘Burnbooking’ your dates is a savvy way to level up your dating game by journaling date-debriefs - noting down feelings, thoughts or frustrations," says Hathorn. "The dating journey is full of ups and downs, so taking note of each can be a great way to turn your dates into valuable life experiences and to set new standards. But, don’t be a mean girl by harshly judging others - keep it succinct, fair and factual, based on details that actually aid your quest for a better match.”

How to 'burnbook effectively

“Follow a structured format with key sections, a rating system, and reflective questions. Balance positives and negatives of the date," advises Hathorn, "set goals, and consider external factors which may impacted your feelings. End each entry with considerations for future interactions, fostering a positive and growth-oriented approach to your dating journey. Treat dating as you would any professional commitment; your potential partner is one of the most important decisions that you will make”.

The advantages of writing down your thoughts and feelings

Hathorn believes that “burnbooking allows you to reflect on the date and gain clarity on how you felt without being influenced by external sources". She adds: "It provides an opportunity for self-discovery by helping you understand your own likes, dislikes, and patterns in your feelings. If you're considering a second date, jotting down your thoughts can be a form of practice for communicating your feelings and, if the dynamic changes down the line, you’ll be in a good position to point out inconsistent behaviours”.

‘Mean-girling’

What is it?

 “If you’re wanting a drama-free relationship, watch out for the ‘mean girls’ like Regina George, warns Hathorn. "Whilst hard to spot from a profile, they’re the root of toxicity," she says. Signs of ‘mean-girling’ include craving drama, a lack of empathy, jealous tendencies, sly digs, control issues, and causing unnecessary conflicts. Avoid characters that show these traits at all costs, it’s a red flag that points towards a selfish personality who is likely to bully you into a toxic relationship”.

Can this also apply to men?

“Negative dating behaviours like gossiping, exclusionary tactics, or undermining others can apply to anyone," according to Hathorn. "However, it’s important to note these behaviours may manifest in different ways depending on who you’re dating so it can be difficult to spot these traits at first glance. A supportive, positive partner, even in casual dating is essential to your personal, and professional mental health and upward momentum, so these traits are ones to watch out for, regardless of gender”.

How to spot a mean girl/boy from an online dating profile

“Monopolising the conversation, a disinterest in your own personal achievements, a need for control, or insensitive humour, coupled with an over-abundance of selfies may raise concerns about a self-centered attitude that places individual priorities above the relationship," according to Hathorn.

What should you do if you realise you are dating a mean girl/boy?

“Communicate your concerns and see whether this person is willing to work on themselves. If there’s any push back it’s your sign to cut the connection off, raise your standards, and then raise them again," advises Hathorn.

Stop trying to make ‘Fetch’ happen

What is it?

Sorry, Gretchen, but 'Fetch' still isn't happening. Hathorn says: “Stop looking at people as just their profile pictures and judging whether they have the ‘fetch’ factor. Being a purveyor of people with cool profiles is an easy habit to slip into but ultimately it is reductive and will be limiting your chances of dating success.

"It's impossible to gauge whether there might be chemistry from a handful of prompts and pictures, and often, we don't know what's 'actually' good for us - so dig deeper and learn whether someone matches your values. You could be pleasantly surprised.”

How to find out if someone matches your values effectively

“Drive the conversation tactically," suggests Hathorn. "If you engage in open and honest conversations about your values, it’ll open the door for them to do the same. Make sure you drop in mentions of areas that are important to you throughout the date and see how they react and what their views are”.

 Things to look for on online dating profiles besides good photos

“Check if their profile clearly states what type of relationship they are seeking. If they’re looking for something casual and you’re wanting a more serious commitment, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to sway their dating direction," says Hathorn. "Consider their professional details, whilst not crucial to compatibility, they can be a good indicator as to whether your lifestyles will align - and remember, an intellectual match will outlast any physical connection that you may have”.

 ‘On Wednesdays we date’

 What is it?

Whilst you may be itching to secure or prioritize a date with your potential sigficant other, there’s nothing worse than that friend who rearranges your Friday night plans for a first date, just ask Janis Ian how she felt when her bestie Cady ditched her art show to party with Aaron Samuels.

Hawthorn thinks that Wednesdays are a great day to date because they allow you to scope out your new love interest whilst keeping the end of the week free to nurture existing relationships with your friends and family. She adds: "These are the people who support and lift you in the good times as well as bad, so be respectful and give as much to them as they do to you. Plus, it can be more attractive to your date knowing you have a life outside of them - be transparent and let them fit into your routine.”

The end of the traditional Friday and Saturday date night?

“Online dating has opened up a larger dating pool and we’re dating more often to scope out matches based on compatibility rather than convenience," according to Hathorn. "As such, weekday nights are becoming a more popular way to get in more first dates - allowing us to get an initial feel for someone without dedicating our weekend to them before we’ve got the whole picture.”

 Wednesday date night ideas

On Wednesday nights, people will typically have less time in the evening than on a weekend day as not only do they have to finish that day's work before the date can begin, but they also also have to consider they need to be up for work the next day too - meaning dates can be shorter. But, Hathorn says there's still plenty of things you can do with your date.

"Opting for a casual dinner date, enjoying a few drinks, or attending an evening exhibition can be great ways to get a weeknight date in without disrupting your work schedule. A like-minded date will absolutely understand the need to accommodate your busy schedule.”