What is breadcrumbing? Five ways to spot if dating trend is happening to you, plus five ways to deal with it

Married at First Sight UK returned to our screens on Sunday (September 21), and viewers were introduced to a brand new group of men and women ready to say goodbye to their single lives by getting married to a stranger.

Among them was Grace, a 30-year-old midwife who explained modern dating as “tortourous” because people breadcrumb and ghost each other.

We’ve previously delved in to the dating trend of ghosting, but what exactly is breadcrumbing? Like ghosting, it’s a cruel technique, so to help make sure you aren’t on the receiving end of it, NationalWorld has spoken to Alex-Mellor Brook to learn five ways to spot it and also five ways to deal with it.

Alex is co-ounder at elite dating agency Select Personal Introductions, Internationally Certified Matchmaker, Dating Expert and Science-Based Relationship Coach.

Keep reading on to find out all you need to know about breadcrumbing.

What is breadcrumbing?

Breadcrumbing is the act of keeping someone hanging on, connecting with them sporadically, usually flirtatiously, without any intention of serious commitment, explains Mellor-Brook.

It can happen at any stage in the relationship, even after it has finished. Online platforms have made this so much easier for the breadcrumber, as it can be done via various outlets without much effort, simply by liking, sending an emoji, or commenting on posts, or messaging intermittently - just enough to keep the person interested.

In many cases, the relationship focuses on the physical aspect without developing emotional depth. There is very little meaning to any of the communication, as they never reveal too much about their personal life and never reciprocate any level of interest received.

5 ways to spot breadcrumbing

• They give you just enough attention to keep you interested, but never commit to plans.
• Their communication is inconsistent, hot one day, cold the next.
• You find yourself questioning your worth or over-analysing their behaviour.
• You feel dependent on their next message or call for reassurance.
• After contact, you often feel disappointed, drained, or undervalued.

5 ways to deal with breadcrumbing

Mellor-Brook advises taking these five steps if you’re being breadcrumbed.

• Acknowledge what’s happening and stop making excuses for their behaviour.
• Set firm boundaries and don’t settle for less than genuine effort.
• Focus on your own life, hobbies, and friendships instead of waiting around.
• Remind yourself of your value and rebuild confidence in your worth.
• If needed, cut contact so you can move on and make space for someone better.

Is there a way to avoid being breadcrumbed?

The act of breadcrumbing can be very confusing and emotionally draining, so identifying these patterns early and taking time to step back to see what is happening is paramount, according to Mellor-Brook.

Why do people breadcrumb?

The reason for breadcrumbing isn’t always obvious, says Mellor-Brook. For some, it may be a fear of commitment, or they may need a boost to their ego, but are unready or unable to commit to a serious relationship.

If suffering from low self-esteem, they may use breadcrumbing to seek validation or fill a void of loneliness without the fear of rejection or having to invest emotionally. It may even be used to keep someone as a backup plan in case other ‘options’ don’t work out. For others, though these can be signs of narcissistic tendencies exerting power and control over another person.

* Married at First Sight UK series 10 airs every Sunday to Thursday on E4 at 9pm.