Prince Harry at 40: I will forever see him as a 12 year old still traumatised by the death of his mum

Over the years, the decision for Prince William and Prince Harry to walk behind their mother’s coffin has been widely debated, I for one think it was without question, the wrong decision. It is also interesting that Prince Harry reportedly has maintained a close relationship with this uncle, Earl Spencer, who opposed the decision. 

Prince Harry reportedly stayed with his uncle, Earl Spencer, when he returned to the UK for the funeral of his uncle, Lord Robert Fellowes, and Earl Spencer is said to have invited both Prince Harry and Meghan for Christmas. In his memoir Spare, Prince Harry said: "There was some discussion about the next day's funeral.”

Prince Harry went on to say that "Per the latest plan, the coffin would be pulled through the streets on a horse-drawn carriage by the King's Troop while Willy and I followed on foot. It seemed a lot to ask of two young boys. Several adults were aghast. Mummy's brother, Uncle Charles, raised hell. 'You can't make these boys walk behind their mother's coffin! It's barbaric.'"

Prince Harry also recalled in Spare that “An alternative plan was put forward. Willy would walk alone. He was fifteen, after all. Leave the younger one out of it. Spare the Spare. This alternative plan was sent up the chain. Back came the answer. It must be both princes. To garner sympathy, presumably."

Fast forward 28 years, and although I am not a psychologist, every facet of Prince Harry’s life has been dominated or governed by Princess Diana’s death. Consciously or subconsciously, throughout his adolescence and adulthood, Prince Harry has been looking for a way to escape the confines of royal life.

When he met Meghan Markle and the couple gave their positions up as working royals when they moved to the States, this gave Prince Harry the opportunity to physically escape both royal expectations and the expectations of the nation. 

However, in every interview I have seen with Prince Harry, he may have physically escaped but he hasn’t ‘mentally escaped.’ When I watched ITV’s documentary, Tabloids on Trial, Prince Harry, in response to Rebecca Barry asking him if the legal battles attract more attention, Prince Harry said: “It got to a point where you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t, I don’t think there’s anybody in the world better suited and placed to be able to see this through than myself.

“It’s still dangerous, and all it takes is one lone actor, one person who reads this stuff to act on what they have read and whether it’s a knife or acid, whatever it is, and these are things that are of genuine concern for me. It’s one of the reasons why I won’t bring my wife back to this country.”

When Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were interviewed by Oprah Winfrey a few years ago, he said: “I’m just really relieved and happy to be sitting here talking to you with my wife by my side.” He also said: “Because I can’t imagine what it must have been like for her [Diana], going through this process by herself all those years ago.

“It’s been unbelievably tough for the two of us, but at least we had each other.”

Although Prince Harry has received therapy for his mother’s death and has previously said: “It was like clearing the windscreen, clearing away all the Instagram filters, all of life's filters,” I still feel that Prince Harry is at age of 40, is going to need therapy for the rest of his life in order to not only process his mother’s death, but be able to move forward with his life without it weighing so heavily on him.