Emilie Kiser is 'coping' thanks to therapy after death of son Trigg but says she feels a 'hole in her life'

The 26-year-old mum, who also has a six-month-old son called Teddy, has uploaded a video showing her in the moments before she enters a therapy session and the moments after she leaves it.

In it, she speaks about the raw grief and pain she feels, four months after her eldest son died in a drowning accident in a pool in the backyard of the family home in Chandler, Arizona.

Emilie begins the video to explain how she feels: “I’m feeling good today . . . when I say good I mean I’m able to cope and and manage it. I don’t actually feel good, she said.

She went on to say how she gets emotional on her way to her therapy appointments because she is thinking about how the session is going to go and everything she is going to say to her therapist: “I’m on the drive over thinking about how I’m going through what I’m going through and when I get that realisation I’m like ‘just holy s*** I can’t believe this is my life and what I’m going through right now’.”

The video then cut to a clip of her walking into her session, where she admitted that she was “nervous”. Then, in the next scene Emilie is seen back in her car post-therapy, where she said she was glad she had been to the session and “definitely felt better” because of it.

She spoke about how the last few months since her son’s tragic accident have been for her. “Today we just talked about everything that has happened. It’s obviously been hard. There’s no doubt about that. It’s been really hard to deal with. On top of that, dealing with the grief and the sadness and the loss and the literal hole that we feel in our lives.”

She concluded her video to talk about the impact of therapy generally on her. “It is emotionally draining, it’s a lot to unpack. A lot of people say that, you just feel emotionally tired after therapy. Usually I’ll go and do something that feeds back into my cup. I’m only a few months into therapy now and I will say that it does help a lot. My mindset is different, the way I think is different. I have coping mechanisms and tools to get through certain things,” she said.

Emilie had been quiet on social media until recently. At the end of August, however, she retuned to her online platforms for the first time when she shared a written statement online in which she said she takes “full accountability” for Trigg’s death as his mum. Then on Sunday September 21, she shared the first video of herself that had been recorded since the tragedy.

The influencer, who was wearing a necklace with her late son’s name, announced her intention to return to social media, telling her fans she had missed them but admitting she wasn’t 100% sure what her videos would look like from now on. “I am just doing my best every day to figure this out, figure my life out, so I am just taking it day by day,” she said.

Since then she has uploaded several videos and photo posts across Instagram and TikTok and appears to have returned back to posting regularly. She has not, however, included her son Teddy in her new content or her husband Brady. She has also recently shared a message for her fans which read: “Thank you for the love. So grateful everyday for the support.”