'Losing a child is the worst pain': Emilie Kiser cries as she speaks about son Trigg's death on video for the first time

The 26-year-old mum influencer has uploaded a video in which she spoke openly about her grief for the first time as she responded to some fans questioning how she has been able to return to social media.

Emilie first began posting videos again at the end of September, four months after her three-year-old son Trigg died in a drowning accident at the family home in Chandler, Arizona.

The star has received many messages of support since she returned to her platform, but some people have also questioned how she is able to record content again amid such a tragedy.

Now she has addressed this in a new emotional video, which lasted almost four minutes. Speaking directly to the camera, Emilie said: “I am very much grieving and I’m very much going through a lot right now. You are seeing such a small, small, small slither of my life right now.”

“I’m doing my best and I’m showing a very small portion because I’m not ready to share other things.”

She also confirmed that she will not be sharing her children online anymore in the wake of the fatal accident. “I’m not sharing my kids anymore, therefore I’m not sharing Teddy and I’m not sharing Trigg,” Emilie said.

In a written statement she shared online at the end of August, the star said that Trigg's death has showed her "how relationships online lack boundaries, especially in protecting children's privacy." "Moving forward, I will be establishing more boundaries with what I share online," she added. So, it’s not surprising that she has made this choice.

Emilie went on to speak for a second time about the therapy she is having to help her, and said there are things she won’t discuss in her videos because these are things she believes need to be “unpacked” with professionals not millions of people on the internet.

She then became visibly emotional as she said: “I know there are so many things I could be talking about right now. Trust me, it is on my mind with what happened to Trigg but I’m not ready.” Her voice then broke and there were tears in her eyes as she said she was “very much processing the loss of [her] son.”

Emilie went on to confirm that posting videos in her work, and she enjoys it, and so although she feels ready to return to work in some sense, she is not ready to talk about what happened to Trigg. “I’m sharing the moments that I can bear to film and I want to film because it kind of helps me step out of my reality for a second,” she added.

She acknowledged that “everyone is entitled to say what they want about [her] grief journey” but added that she wants to remind people they are not seeing the “full scope of things”.

She also spoke of parasocial relationships. “I sometimes forget that because of social media we have warped this perspective of people’s lives that we genuinely feel like we know them, and we know what their whole life looks like, when in reality we’re seeing maybe 5% of someone’s life - and it’s what they choose to share,” she pointed out.

She continued to say that for unless people have lost someone they cannot understand what they would do or how they would act. “Losing a child is literally the worst pain and I would not want anybody to go through it,” she said, becoming emotional again.

Responding to those who have commented online and said “they wouldn’t be able to go on”, Emilie said: “Do you not think everywhere I look in my house I don’t see my child? His photos are everywhere, his artwork is everywhere . . . I love that because he’s my child and I never want to forget him but I’m not showing that on camera.”

She concluded to say that she is just trying to do anything to bring “a little bit of joy” into her life.

Emilie has once again received many messages of support on this post, including one from her youngest sister Maddie who said “My sister is the strongest girl I know.” Emilie responded and said “Love you”.

One fan shared her own experience to offer support. “I lost my 6yo son and still needed to get up every day and take care of my 2yo. I felt guilty feeling joy in some moments, but LITERALLY we are just trying to survive every day.”

Another person shared their story too. “My grandma lost her son to drowning 2 weeks before I was born. She grieved him until the day she died. She had regrets until the day she died. She still went shopping on Saturday, planted vegetable gardens, canned, & cross stitched, all while grieving. The people judging you need to realize how lucky they are to not understand how you keep going.” Emilie liked this comment.

Another fan said: “You don’t have to EXPLAIN anything to anyone. You do what helps you heal and keep going! Remember it’s your health not any of us! Keep going EM!” The comment also received a like from the star.